EarthSourceMedia Reports for March 23rd, 2009

It has been said that red and yellow make green; it may be more accurate to say that red -as in bloodshed-and green -as in the pursuit of cash- may make yellow.

 ~Yellow Tide: Amber Alert~

July 14th, 2012- Huntington Beach, California

The day was not unlike many others; a mild breeze swept a salty musk quietly ashore, where sleeping worshippers of the sun bathed in its warm caress. The lanky lifeguard sat high atop his crows nest perch, dreaming of a girl who passed through last season, she having stayed in this seaside hamlet just long enough to rub lotion onto his back, love into his young heart, and salt into his wounds shortly thereafter.

He was startled awake by the laughing of gulls, one of which left a no-return deposit on the wood railing nearby. That was close, he thought and reached for the towel the guards kept for just such occasions.  Standing tall, he gazed out to sea and wiped the sleep from his eyes. A second such gaze convinced him that the blur on the eastern horizon was more than the flotsam of today’s siesta.

“Pass me those binocs”, he ordered the junior lifeguard working on homework inside the hut. “Gimme!” he said again, gesturing palm-up and without looking.  

“Whaddisit?” asked the teen, handing a powerful pair of binoculars out the rough-cut window.

“Looks like a boat- no, maybe a couple- looks like a mess of small sailboats, all bobbing up and down, maybe a couple miles out”.

“Lemme see- I got good eyes. Lemme see”

“Here- what do you see?” asked the lifeguard.

“Dunno. Is there some sort of reggatta today or sumpin’?”

“Gimme those back a minute. Dam! Get me that walkie-talkie, dude.”

Coastguard Headquarters, Orange County, California

“Captain Braggalot, I’ve got a lifeguard from surf city on the horn talking about a bunch of boats offshore, little, tiny sailboats. He wants- umm, is a race happening today -er- some kind of reggatta? You wanna talk to ‘im? He sounds pretty upset”.

“Nope, nothing ’till September- call upstairs to DHS, ask them if they have anything showing up on radar”.

“Yessir! Mother-may-I, Little red wagon, do you copy over?”

“Mother May I this is Little Red Wagon, come in please?”

“Wagon this is your mother, what’s goin’ on down there over?”

“Lifeguard at tower 22 says he’s got bogies by sea from the east, can you confirm that via radar over?”

“Wait one, wagon” (Fitzman, can you- what the…!)

“Wagon we’re coming right down, don’t make any more transmissions on this frequency..”

  

Office 2137, Pentagon Complex:

(DHS Secretary, pressing intercom button):

“Colonel Dinkens, can you come up to 2137 on the double please? Tell no one you’re coming, and come alone.”

“I’ll be there on the double Ms Napolitano”.

Main Street Pier, Huntington Beach

“Dude, I am so freakin’ out! This is way ‘deja-vu; remember when the Police Chief in Jaws, umm, what was his name, Brody, or what was his real…”

“Martin Brody- Roy Schieder”.

“Yeah! Remember when the shark was in the pond and those guys were doing this exact same…”

“Shut up and keep making that announcement- keep holding that trigger thing down when you speak!”

YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE- ALL CITIZENS PLEASE EXIT THE BEACH IMMEDIATELY- THIS IS AN EMERGENCY- BY THE ORDER OF THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY ALL CITIZENS MUST EVACUATE THE BEACH AREA IMMEDIATELY- REMAIN CALM-

“Dam bro, what the $@!^k is goin’ on, man? Where are all these guys coming from- they look Chinese!”

“Exactly.”

“Let’s stop and talk to one of ‘em- stop the blazer, stop for a second, maybe we can ask…Sir? Uh, sir? We’d like to ask you a few- what is…can I read that piece of paper in your hand? Can I- do you mind?”

“Whoa dude- if this is what I think it is-”

“Christ, will you people just go around, just go aro-HEY!! You! Yeah, you- you can’t leave that there- no! You can’t moor your boat there, dingy, junk, whateveritis, you CAN’T LEAVE it THERE, ya hear me?”

Jesus, they’re like locusts! What in the hell is goin’ on here?”

Office 2137, Pentagon Complex:

“Got here as soon as I..”

“Good, sit down and listen! I just got a call from Wen Jiabao, and he’s saying…”

“Wen who? I’m sorry, I don’t…”

“Wen Jiabao, knucklehead, he’s the Chinese Premier, and he’s worried about his money- actually, he’s worried about our economy and who can blame him? Out of the two trillion dollars China has scattered around outside it’s own country, 70% of that is U.S. government loans, and that ain’t no chopped liver, ya understand me?”

“Yes Janet, but what can he do right now? You can’t get blood from a stone-”

“I’ll tell you what he can do, and he’s already doing it! He’s emptying his prisons, mental hospitals, reform schools sewers and poor houses and he’s sending them over here on little boats with deeds for an acre and a half each, and our intelligence reports say he sent a billion of them this morning at gunpoint, he’s shooting anyone who heads back for China and…”

(Head hung down and shaking back and forth) “And?”

“…and he’s sending the second billion right now. Got any ideas?”

“Uh-uh- ….hey, wait!”

(Napolitano and Dinkens at the same time): “Cheney’s detention centers in Arizona!”

Huntington beach; Bolsa Chica Bluffs:

*squeeeek!!!*VERMIND YOUR BEACH TOWELS AND UMBRELLAS-THEY WILL BE RETURNED TO YOU AT A LATER DATE- ALL CITIZENS PLEASE EXIT THE BEACH AREA USING THE HANDY WHEELCHAIR RAMPS PROVIDED NEAR THE CONCESSION STANDS AND-

“So, those things are some kind of-”

“Property titles or something, yeah, I think so. That must be how the Chinese intend to get paid for financing the Iraq invasion.”

“Those ungrateful bastards- don’t they appreciate the way we kept them safe from terrorism so they can be free to bust college students, sentence them to death, parade them around a stadium of screaming lunatics and then shoot them in the back of the head? The nerve!”

*Squeek!!!*PEAT-DO NOT BOTHER WITH YOUR COOLERS, BLANKETS OR UMBRELLAS- THIS IS THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SEC-squeek!!!!*

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington DC; the Whitehouse:

“And I want to be kept up to the second..”

“Yes sir.”

“…. the instant….”

“Yes sir.”

 ”….no matter wha..”

“Yes sir.”

(Red phone sounds the theme from Hawaii 5-O):

“It’s the Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao!- Agent Tribbleeto?”

“Yes sir?”

“Leave the office now”.

“Yes sir”.

“Premier Jiabao, what a pleasant sur-”

“Don’t boo-shit me, Mr. Obama please. Where’s my money?”

“Why Mr. Premier, the office of the treasury is printing additional…”

“Like Mr. Ahmadinijhad says, Mr. Obama- ‘worthless pieces of paper- you’re broke! Everybody knows it and you, meester fellow, have exactly one hour to fess up with it or I send the signal to send the jailers to send the key masters to send the inmates to their awaiting armada to send to Huntington Beach! One hour, Mr. Obama-goodbye.”

Coast Guard Headquarters, Orange County:

“Shiny Red Wagon this is Arizona Border Patrol do you copy? Repeat, the detention centers are completely full and we…”

“Arizona this is Red Wagon, are you ok out there? Come in Arizona!”

Main Street Pier, Huntington Beach:

REPEAT, DO NOT COME BACK FOR YOUR PICNIC BASKETS- “Aw, what’s the use? C’mon kid, let’s take one of these boats and head for trinidad, I hear the surfs up!”

“Cowabunga dude! Hey- you kids, save me a boat! hey man, come on dude, save me a…”

The end?

 

our founder

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Tag Lines: wen jiabao, obama, huntington beach, america, china, department of homeland security, coast guard, deed, reform school, trinidad, picnic, umbrella, orange county, reserves, trillion dollar debt, government loans,  yellow tide, amber alert, janet napolitano

 

EarthSourceMedia Reports for February 25th, 2009

~Night-night, Satellite~

Snowy Glacier, Antarctica:

Antarctica; ‘primordial ice castle,

isle of white- final frontier of all that is right’

(against a backdrop of steady, roaring wind) …”Dr. Rixmuffin, the new satellite data has come in. You want to wait until…?”

“No, let’s look at it right away. Back to the tent-bunker”.

(wind quiets as they enter tent) …”Tell me Doctor, the graphics are very colorful, but what does it all mean?”

(removing snowshoes) …”Well, the pink represents the ice cover, and the blue is open ocean water. See how it’s changed from 2005 to 2006? It’s worse than we thought. We can’t wait any longer- it’s time to send up the Taurus XL. Call washington”.

 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., Washington, DC

(Handsome well-dressed black man handles red phone) … ”So like I said, Emperor, we simply don’t have the $3,000,000,000,000 at this time. The solution is that we’ll have to work together to stabilize the gulf, and end the wars, saving the US two billion a week- that’s a trillion annually, much of which can be redirected to pay off the…”

‘Uh, Sir?

I’m sorry sir, it’s Dr. Rixmuffin from Base 12 in Antarctica, he says it’s urgent”.

“Emperor, I have to let you go, please accept my gratitude for your patience and humble thanks for the honor of your friendship. Michelle? Of course I’ll tell her you said it, I know she feels the same way-goodbye”.

“OK, what’ve we got Randall?”

(hands him the phone)…

“Mr. President? Dr. Rixmuffin here, Base 12; the European satellite data has come back with significantly less pink and substantially more blue. I think you know what it means- there’s no time to argue between the parties.”

“It’s not really an argument Steve; China is opening a new coal-fired power plant every three days, we owe them a ton of money, and the only resource America still has is coal.  The only realistic way we can pay off the debt is to mine more coal and send it to China. It’s a tough call- those are jobs that vote democratic, but the climate is rising. This will spiral out of control if we don’t act right away- we’ll have to show the danger of burning more coal! I agree with you, it’s time to send up the Taurus XL.”

A,T&T Headquarters Building:

(four sharp knocks, followed by a whistle)

“Enter, agent 9.”

“Thanks- wow, what a cool little room this is! All this electronic gear! And ATT is ok with this?”

“Sorry 9, that kind of thing is all ‘need-to-know’. For right now, we’re monitoring the conversation between the Whitehouse and Antarctica, and I don’t think MRC is gonna like what I’m recording-listen to this!” (click* ‘it’s not really an argument, steve- china is opening a new coal-fired power plant every three days, and…)

“Yikes! We recorded the Whitehouse?!”

“Hell yes- National security, project M.E.R.C.Y. We’d better get this to MRC right away.”

“And MRC is..?”

“MERCY. Stands for Murdock Rove Cheney“.

“As in Rupert Karl and Dick? What do they care?”

NASA HQ at Vandenberg Air Force Base, Lompoc, California:

“Project Manager Brunschwyler, how may I help you?”

“Mr. Brunschwyler? Please hold for the President of the United States.”

(turn that down, turn it down!! I think this might really be…)

“Mr. Brunschwyler?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you, one moment.”

“John?”

“Yes sir!”

“Barack Obama. I hope your day is going better than mine is.”

“I-uh, I-I…”

“The reason I’m calling is, your country needs you John. Is that satellite of yours ready to go out into orbit?”

“Yes sir, standing by for your order, sir.”

“Get it done. Dr. Rixmuffin will see to it you have everything you need. And John?”

“Sir?”

“I’m counting on you.”

“Yes sir!”

(hangs up phone)…”OK everybody, look alive, it’s showtime!” (cheers, shouts)…

Gargoyle Mountain, Montana:

(Deep within the Cheney Fortress, cauldrens smoking, vats bubbling, lights flashing, electrodes warping, vroomp, vroomp, vroomp!)…

*hisssss-click-sizzle* M.E.R.C.Y M.E.R.C.Y, come in mother mercy-whirr-click-hiss*

(view from behind, bald head in swivel chair, whirls around- revealing man in white scientists smock)..

“Mother M.E.R.C.Y., go ahead.”

*Mr. Cheney, we’ve intercepted a relevant transmission, sir- should be arriving in the…* whir-click-hisssss*

“Got it. Good job- now, delete this recording, any record or transcripts and e-mails immediately. Also, blow up any private aircraft carrying former webmasters ASAP- Mother M.E.R.C.Y. out!”

*Out-hiss-click*

Melbourne, Australia:

ooooga   ooooga   ooooga! “Murdoch, go ahead United States.”

“Rupert? This is Dick- we’ve got a big one- NASA is about to launch-”

“How many times have I told you, Richard? Just take care of it! I’m up to my ass in complaints about the chimp cartoon in the NY Post! I’m trying to keep war crimes off the front pages, but I can only run so many stories honoring the burn victims, y’know!!? Even 9-11 isn’t working since the bottom dropped out!”

“Rupert, it’s a satellite to measure carbon and identify natural heat sinks, like forests. It can’t take off!”

“Richard, you’re overreacting! The Europeans already have a satellite and no one’s paying any attention-”

(in background: “yeah darth, you’re over reacting! Hey, what happened to getting Libby a pardon? Ha ha ha har-dee har!”)..

“Who is that?”

“Nothing, Richard, it’s Karl fooling around on the extension is all, he’s been drinking, let him alone- *karl-hushup!*

“Dr. Rixmuffin’s paying attention, Rupert- and so’s America’s new darling! We don’t need a mom and apple pie American satellite blasting off and corraborating the European data! The oil companies don’t want it, the logging companies don’t want forests to be seen as ‘heat sinks’, ‘clean coal’ doesn’t want it, and for the love of god, Rupert, that satellite better not take off!”

NASA, Vandenberg Air Force Base, Lompoc, California:

“OK people, look alive, and we’ve got T-minus 10! Propulsion?”

“Pro is a ‘go!”

“Nine! Thermal sheilding?”

“Sheilds are ‘go!”

“Eight! Coolant?”

“Go, sir!”

“Seven! -power plant?”

“All go!”

“Six! Five! Four! Ground?”

“(yawn) Ground is go, sir.”

“Always cool, aren’t you Epstein? Three!”

Two!” One! and Mark!”

“Ignition, liftoff!!”

(bright burn, roaring and thunder)…

Burbank California:

“Hi everybody, this is Johnny Zinger for ABZ news, and from the mountains to the prarie, welcome- tonight we bring you a special report on the OBAMA HELICOPTER controversy, the PEANUT BUTTER doomsday scenario, and the horror of STEROIDS in SPORTS! Oh, and also, we’ll cover that little launch of a carbon monitoring satellite from Vandenberg- but first this word from today’s ARMY- an army of one! (news program music)…

A,T&T Headquarters Building:

(four sharp knocks, followed by a whistle)

“You may enter, agent nine- what’s the word?”

“Well, M.E.R.C.Y. says the Orbiting Carbon Observatory is ‘ixnay on the arbon-cay’. And no more money for Orbital Sciences Corporation, either. Says we push the little square clicker button on the remote at three minutes in.”

“And what’s that gonna do?”

“Just what the man said- ‘ixnay on the arbon-cay’ . Chevron, Exxon and Clean Coal say no way on the arbon cay- satellite must not launch.”

Vandenberg AFB, Lompoc, California:

“Sir, the launch is vibrating a bit.”

“What’s the heat-ometer reading?”

“Normal. But the flux-tramitozometer says there’s an extra 13 ounces on board we can’t account for.”

“Steady as she goes.”

“Aye.”

Burbank California:

“Hi everybody, this is Johnny Zinger for ABZ news, back again and we take you now to Vandenberg Air Force Base, where they appear to be having some trouble with the $280,000,000 dollar satellite finally being launched after 9 years of work and planning. The crowd is surprisingly large for a 2:00am rocket launch, all necks craned way back as the rocket goes into ‘pitch and yaw’.

Wait-wait- hold it- it’s arching down now, a sweeping pattern of fire in the sky, trailing down, ever downward towrd the earth once again- I’m not sure it’s supposed to be doing this, but no-no NOOO!!!!”

silence

Everybody, this is Johnny Zinger for ABZ news saying the satellite has crashed into the ocean just off of Antarctica. Into the ocean where ice should be. Into the warming waters. For ABZ news, this is Johnny Zinger saying, stay tuned for news at 11:00, where OSCAR reigns supreme!

“(And) somewhere out in the eternal ink of space, one more species crash lands

one more race of intersteller butterfly, caught in its own cocoon

fails to shed the cosmic umbilical cord, and no one noticed

and no diety cared, as both cry and tears froze

in the cold impartial vaacum of a forever night’

joey racano 2009

 

our founder

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Tags: taurus xl, john brunschwyler, orbital sciences corp, vandenberg air force base, orbiting carbon observatory, barack obama, nasa, global warming satellite, climate change, antarctica, michelle obama, diety, space, oscar

 

EarthSourceMedia Reports for February 20th, 2009

~’The Stained Glass Ego Parlor’~

by joey racano

There is a place. Yes, folks, there is a place indeed. A place that points up the folly of mankind and the hypocracy of religion like no other place on Earth. A place of insatiable greed and unknowable egomania. Located in Garden Grove, California, this place is called the ‘Crystal Cathedral’- the:

~Stained Glass Ego Parlor~

First, let me tell of my own experience with this many-story glass abomination; just a short distance away, is located the Orange County Dog Pound. I remember the dogs all barking, all suffering, my dog among them. But unlike some of the others, I was there to spring my dog from a different abomination. Yelp yelp, bark bark howl cry. And what, I wondered, were they all saying? It could have been something like:

“Kill me fast, or kill me slow,

but that disgusting display of christian vulgarity

has GOT TO GO!”

And now, let’s join our story, already in progress (for 2000 years)…

A few days ago, at 9:30 in the morning, yet another line of amazed foreign tourists were, well- touring- touring the Crystal Cathedral. The people and banter have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent, but the facts and event are real:

~Stained Glass Ego Parlor~

“Welcome to the Cathedral, would you like to make a large donation today?” asked one of the two ‘greeters’ at the gem-encrusted portal (located quite close to a desperately poor neighborhood).

“Sva, jess, jess, vee vould like do make zee donazzion, yah, yah. How mudge do gedd do Evan, yah?” asked one elderly tourist.

“Ain’t none of us going to heaven, sweety”, answered the other door lady chewing her gum loudly. “Donations go in here, thank you, and Jesus thanks you, and Reverand Schueller thanks you”, she finished, slipping the cash portion into her hip pocket. She then excused herself to ‘use the bathroom’, and put the money out in her car. Every few thousand helps, ya know. After all, if she wasn’t supposed to be stealing from Reverand Scheuller what Reverand Scheuller was stealing from the nice lady, then why did God get her this job working the door at the stained glass ego parlor in the first place? ‘Baby need a new pair o’ shoes’, and all.

“Right this way, watch your step please, chop-chop- there’s another bus coming in about 20 minutes, so, oops- careful dear, that’s right”.

“Oooh! Ahhh!” said the tourists, relieved of their worldy cares -and cash- as they gazed in awe at the gargantuan glass structure. Cavernous is a good discription. We at EarthSourceMedia think that cavern may indeed lead straight to hell.

“Step over here, no, pay no attention to that” she tells them as a well-dressed security guard drags a destitute spanish-speaking mother out of the building by her hair.

“Madres pappino, madre o’ jesus, my fama-lee starving, pleeze, pleeze let me stay and pray please!!” she pleaded.

Her pleas fell on deaf ears.

“Sorry Lolita, but there’s a dress code here, and your skin ain’t dressed in the right color, kapish amigo? said the man, depositing her in the alley out back and blowing hair from his open palm.

“Now this,” the tour guide lady continued, “is where we line up at the illuminated cross and hear all about our new suicide prevention program. That’s it, single line, please, good, good. After spending $400 Jillion Ka-tramillion ba-dillion quillion dollars on rings, buckles babes bras and booze, the generous reverend decided to do something for the community with the four dollars and 18 cents remaining for fiscal 2008, so what better, he thought, than create a suicide prevention program?”

Just then, there was a small commotion at the door, as a 43-year old homeless man walked into the cathedral and handed the two receptionists a wallet, a California drivers Lisence and a small donation wrapped in a brief note.

“SHHHHHHHHHH!” said the ladies, as though it were a library. “Quiet!” they admonished. “Do you want the lord to choke on his angel hair pasta?”

“Umm, sorry ma’am” the man whispered respectfully. “Here” he whispered, “you may want this” he said, handing her a note. “Sorry!”, and he walked over to kneel at the illuminated cross.

“Well I never!” snipped the lady with the pocket full of cash, about to make another car run. “Anyway, we here at the Crystal cathedral know that God can’t help but be watching because the glass shines so -especially in the sunlight, whenever the Orange County smog lifts every Christmas morning- and besides, even God couldn’t miss something this tall!” “Well, knowing we’re watched as well as being special to God, what with all the dough we raise, we decided to take our new program seriously. The way we keep folks from getting too desperate is to communicate. LISTEN to them.”

Meanwhile, the 43 year old homeless man kneeling at cross says to her, “Ma’am? Ma’am, can I ask…”

“Not now! the tour guide lady snarls at him, “Can’t you see I’m talking about something important?!!”

“Now, where was I…Oh, yes, our suicide program…we take care to LISTEN to the downtrodden, the poor, the destitute, the CHOSEN PEOPLE of JESUS.”

Nearby, the kneeling man has quietly drawn a gun from his dirty pants, takes a last look around the temple and places it to his temple.

“So, being as there is a great need in the community, the reverand decided to go without a pedicure this week, and…”

BLAM! the single shot rang out through the cathedral.

“Oye my Gvod! screamed the touristas-on-tour. “Oye my Gvod!”

“Oh, now don’t worry about the mess. That poor soul is gonna catch HECK for messin’ up that floor in about 30 more seconds by you-know-who- can y’all just wait a minute while I take care of this? I’m truly dreadfull sorry-…”

She takes out a small walkee-talkee

“Security? Security, we have another  ’dropper’ at the I-cross, note this is a ‘dropper’ turned ‘checker-outer’. Please 86 ASAP on aisle 7 near the used-communion wafer bucket- thank you.”

“Now, where were we? Oh yes, so, we LISTEN, we CARE, we HEAR and we RESPOND. Now, you may say to yourself, ‘why would these busy people care, and how would these important people find the time and the love in their hearts, to…’….”

(for the homeless man) this is THE END

I’m joey racano for EarthSourceMedia, saying, from the troops praying on Easter before going out to the kill zone, to the secret vats at Anhouser Busch where they make the holy water, goodnight and sleep on your guns.

 

our founder

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   Tags: crystal cathedral, troops, easter, suicide, povery, hipocracy, stealing, garden grove, christianity, religion, war,

EarthSourceMedia Reports for February 17th, 2009

~When things Collide!~

(suspenseful music from horn-section….)

The world has gotten pretty weird- people don’t pay attention to an impending police state or a runaway climate- but everyones worried about killer peanuts!! Anyway, welcome to the program. Tonight, it’s a real smash-up, a total head-banger.

(kick in with sexy saxophone…)

~When things Collide!~

 ”My name is Friday.

…I work Thursday through Monday, off Tuesdays and Wednesdays, and I carry a Saturday night special. This is Moody, my partner. He’s pretty stable, but his name is moody. We work cold cases, sometimes on hot nights. This one was different though. Everything about it screamed, ‘watchout you idiot! Watch where the hell you’re going!’”

(Theme from ‘When things Collide’…)

It started a few days ago, when………….” (everything gets wavy and blurry)….

 ~When things Collide!~  

Starring:

joey racano………….Detective Friday

John Willibonkers……Detective Moody

Mighty Casey………….Baseball Player

Wrong-Way Korrigan…Sub Commander 1

A ‘Head-On’ Production

“It was late when we got the call- a French and a British Submarine were both out on routine nuclear patrols in the Atlantic Ocean when the French sub, (carrying a crew of 111 and 15 nuclear missiles) the Le Triomphant collided with the HMS Vanguard, which carried a crew of 40 and 16 Lockheed trident D5 missiles. Nothing really to worry about, just a couple bakers dozen nukes and a collision between two nuclear-powered submarines. I guess you could say it turned out ‘rad’. I mean, who would believe the bungling militarys of the world could flirt with disaster like that and get off so lucky? Had things gone just slightly different, a lot of bad stuff could have leaked out. Ah, what’s the use- everybody already knows all these navys scuttle their nuclear subs in the north Sea anyway! I guess it’s a sort of bioluminescence envy, right?

Anyway, that’s about when the next report came in.

(sound of short-wave radio….)

Well jeepers creepers, I said when i read the tale of the tape- it was coming in like a horror-comedy-melodrama all rolled into one. The hair on my neck stood up like it had been rubbed with the Bullwinkle balloon from the Macys Thanksgiving Day Parade:

Dot-Dash_dot-dot-   -privately owned-Iridium sattellite– dot-dash-dashetty-do-da-dash- collided-with-russian-out-of-service-communication-satellite-in low-Earth-orbit-dash-dot-dot-do-da-ditty-ditty-dash-a-muh-bob…

I put down the book I was reading and listened intently to the communication. What an amazing sequence of dents and events! I wasn’t really enjoying the book anyway- ‘When Worlds Collide’. It had been written in 1933 by Philip Wylie and Edwin balmer- had they known something we didn’t know? It certainly seemed like it! So, two subs and now two satellites? Hmm. Maybe there was a connection! After all, the internet runs on satellites, cell phones run on satellites, TV, cable, heck, lot’s of stuff runs by satellite now so why not submarines? It would certainly explain the collisions! One thing must have led to another!

My head began to ache. Too much thinking, deducing, weighing the facts, figures and possibilities. The probabilities, the improbabilities and -argh! Enough of that! I switched on the TV and kicked back in my favorite lounge chair- there must be a game on. It was time to relax. Yes! Baseball! Perfect way to get away from this collision-mania. Ah, the Red Sox vs the Yankees, and wouldn’t you know it, two outs, bottom of the ninth and bases are loaded! Uh-oh, this guy looks like he can hit it out of the park, and so I turn up the volume and pop a beer-

‘YES FOLKS, TWO OUT, NINTH INNING, SCORE TIED AT TWO AND HERE COMES CASEY- THE PITCHER WINDS AND DELIVERS AND ITS HIT DEEP! DEEP TO LEFT-CENTER FIELD AND JONES COMES RACING OVER FOR IT! UH-OH, HERE COMES SMITH RACING FROM THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION! tHE BALL IS SINKING RIGHT BETWEEN THEM, CASEY ROUNDING THE BASES, AND JONES AND SMITH ARE ABOUT TO- OH! oH MY GOODNESS, JONES AND SMITH HAVE COLLIDED AND THE BALL ROLLS BACK TO THE…..

Of all the rotten luck! I turned off the TV in a huff and picked the book back up. I guess this just wasn’t gonna be my day, no sir. 

I’m joey racano reporting for EarthSourceMedia saying, from the outer reaches of the atmosphere to the depths of the sea, keep your eyes peeled, your head up and watch where the hell you’re going!

our founder

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Earthsourcemedia Reports, February 2nd, 2009

Welcome to Stupid Bowl XLIII

Think you’re a jerk? Or ignorant? Maybe living in a fantasy world someone has made up for you? Well, if you were one of the millions of people in front of a television set yesterday shouting yourself hoarse over which smelly homo-simians in tights would bang craniums hardest against another, you may very well be. Except for the half-time show, of course. Bruce Springsteen fits in at the superbowl like jesus at Guantanamo.

It’s a known fact that football fans:

1 Are violent, warlike and stupid

2 Often cut in lines

3 Cut wet farts

4 Have small penises

5 Are uncomfortable with their homosexuality

Now, of course, the penis part doesn’t extend to the female fans. They are just mini- Sarah Palins with a touch of penis envy, who love football and hate men. But, by and large, these ladies are every bit as repulsive as their male counterparts. To put it into perspective, I like to think of how many Afghani children lost their eyes to US-made cluster bombs during the game. You know, the ball’s on the 45, Cardinals with a 3rd and long, and -”…Hey mom, look! I found what looks like an orange, and I am so hungry since the Zionists bombed the free-food clinic, and…”

“No son!! Don’t touch it, it may be a trick of the great satan-”

BLAM!!!!

Yes, the monstrous nature of our culture of death culminates on that fateful sunday each year, when we pay special attention to how much ’the troops’ enjoyed watching the game or professional wrestling. It’s a stretch calling it a culture at all. For instance, take one of this American Fascist movement’s spin-offs, the ‘MMA’. The other night, I rented a hideous movie called the ‘Scorpion king 2′, with Mixed Martial Arts former ‘great’ Randy Couture. The guy looked like he could snap an Iraqi kids neck like a twig, or take orders well, such as, “OK soldier, that’s Pat Tillman over there. If he were to die, it would rile up an entire nation of bloodthirsty savages- shoot him now!” But act? People, this bone head couldn’t act sick if he contracted the HU-47 strain bird flu. 

Anyway, both teams deserved to lose and, fortunately, one did. But the real loser is us. What an unbridled batch of ignorance. Maybe we’ll start representing something worthwhile by the 22nd century? Maybe we’ll even be around for the 22nd century? I dunno- but I love the commercials.

Joey Racano, editor

EarthSourceMedia

 

our founder

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Tag lines: superbowl 43, pat tillman, bird flu, cluster bombs, zionist, superbowl commercials, mma, randy couture, mixed martial arts, sarah palin, bruce springstein, jesus, guantanamo

above: marco gonzales of surfrider san diego, selling out the ocean

~The Surfrider San Diego Sewage Controversy!~

Dateline: Wednesday, January 28th, 2009

Correspondent Joey Racano reporting for EarthSourceMedia

Representing: Mother Ocean

At issue: The world’s most trusted ocean-protection organization, Surfrider Foundation, has lost it’s San Diego arm to a wild band of sewage defenders, led by Surfrider San Diego, Sierra Club San Diego, Coast Law Group, and San Diego CoastKeeper.

At odds with nearly every other environmental activist and organization in the USA and the State of California, these dirty-water mavericks have made a dirty deal with mayor Sewage himself, Jerry Sanders of San Diego.

slideshow:

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v678/spiritpen/?action=view¤t=a1710cd0.pbw

Background: San Diego is the last and final holdout in the clean water State of California that still operates under a ‘waiver’, letting them dump over 200 million gallons per day of filthy human fecal debris into the ocean at Point Loma, directly into Cabrillo National Monument.

Why?: Mayor Sewage (Jerry Sanders) has signed an evil pact with the ‘Dirty Three’; Marco Gonzales (Surfrider San Diego), Bruce Reznik (CoastKeeper), and Ed Kimura (Water Conservation Chair, San Diego Sierra Club) allowing the waiver to continue for at least 5 more years!

The Math: At 200 Million Gallons per day, 5 years of dumping sewage will pollute San Diego’s ocean waves with 164 Billion Gallons of additional sewage eminating from 450 square miles of San Diego’s industrial and residential community, and all having recieved less than the full secondary standard. Making this gross out even more alarming is the fact that secondary treatment was only the minimum requirement of the Federal Clean Water Act 35 years ago!

Although the ‘dirty three’ were captured by the Ocean Outfall Group on video speaking in favor of the waiver (before the EPA,  Regional Waterboard and State WaterBoard), they then went on TV before the people of San Diego and said they ‘opposed’ the waiver- a complete lie, intended to mislead the public.

You Tube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23LwQRN_fqg

The waiver decision cannot be complete though, until it goes before the California Coastal Commission and the State Water Resource Control Board, so there will still be an opportunity for public input. Tell them, “Hey! Do us a favor- get rid of the waiver!”

The famous Surfrider San Diego Sewage- Poem:

I know you, surfer boy and girl- a lover and a giver

but Surfrider San Diego just sold you down the river

Their leadership seems really hip-, a ‘bro-bra’ he may be

but he just made a deal to have you surfing in debris

debris of the fecal kind, as you suit up to unwind

crapola  shinola  he’s got you on a pole-a

he spoke in favor of a waiver from someones ass-a-hola

200 million gallons they’re dumping every day

Pumping to the bay

Cabrillo National monument’s

a toilet bowl they say!

into Point Loma, see that brownish foam-a?

If you swallow at the beach you’ll get a carcinoma

Surfrider San Diego likes the waiver, they’re doing someone a favor  but it sure aint you if clean blue waves is something that you savor

 Its called a 301h  like preparation H

They dump enough every day  to fill charger stadium to its gates

three times over! Aint that a four leaf clover? Pathogens are not your friends

why’s surfrider rolling over?

They signed a bad agreement with evil mayor sewage

instead of doing secondary  he;s representing spewage!

So drive your winnabego  down to San Diego

attend their meeting and give this greeting

whats the link between that stink

and Surfrider San Diego?

STOP THE WAIVER!!!!  Here’s how:

Some videos of the Jan. 21 sewage waiver meeting in San Diego:
http://www.youtube. com/watch? v=BboqECGlF04      (overview of the sewage issue)
For more, here’s Ocean Outfaller Larry Porter…  “Larry?”:

PART TWO-  A letter from Larry Porter to EPA:

Dear Friends:
This is what I sent to the EPA and Regional Board
Deadling is 5PM today? 28th
Use as much of mine as you wish.
Waivers are evil
All the best
Larry Porter
“Captain Sewage”

Forwarded Message: San Diego Waiver - Deny

San Diego Waiver - Deny

Wednesday, January 28, 2009 10:26 AM

From:

Dubbietub@aol.com

To:

stuber.robyn@epa.gov, mvaldovinos@waterboards.ca.gov

FROM : Larry Porter
1501 Westcliff DR #201
Newport Beach , CA 92660
Tel : 949 722 9166
Email : Dubbietub@aol.comU.S. Environmental Protection Agency , Region IX
NPDES Permits Office (WTR-5)
75 Hawthorne Street
San Francisco , CA 94105
Attn: Robyn Stuber
415-972-3524
stuber.robyn@epa.govSan Diego Regional Water Quality Control Board
9174 Sky Park Court , Suite 100
San Diego , CA
Attn: Melissa Valdovinos
858-467-2724
mvaldovinos@waterboards.ca.govRe : San Diego Waiver - Oppose / DenyDear Ms. Stuber and Valdovinos,I’m writing to urge you to DENY San Diego’s again application for a 301 H Waiver. Please. Please.The discharge of this waste is an insult to our environment. It must compromise the future. It must cause harm. We are not children. Its is the behavior of barbarians. There is no future in using the ocean as a dump. Civilized people render their waste benign , they get a beneficial use from it , they realize there are generations to come that need a clean , healthy environment , a clean healthy place to live and play.And - And — San Diego is the last waiver ! ! ! Haven’t we learned anything? Waivers are just wrong.
With a waiver one can discharge twice the amount of waste , stuff , goo , nasties - that one can utilizing secondary treatment ! !  And the ocean won’t revolt? Who is kidding who?

“The Trade” — At the EPA hearing a deal was made that traded the “waiver” waste for :  A two million dollar study for more reclaimed water use - the results of which can be ignored? Really ! ! !  The enemy is not overseas . How can people who want a good future , who don’t want to cringe when they look in the mirror , condone such a trade? The waste wins. No? Why? To save some money? At the expense of a decent future? Is San Diego a spoiled brat that has to be coddled? The waiver is wrong. The waiver is bad. We all know it.

Orange County , Goleta , Morro Bay , and just recently Honolulu bit the bullet. So San Diego can thumb it nose at the civilized world? For “The Trade”? Is something wrong with this picture? Decidedly so , yes !
Who do the San Diegans thinks they are? Their waste can do no harm and be strewn about willy nilly? What a fairy tale !

Sincerely,
Larry Porter

Part Three:  ’Just the Facts’ by Ocean Outfall Group Director Doug Korthof…

San Diego Surfrider, Sierra Club and Coastkeeper have approved the San Diego Sewage Waiver.

This allows sewage to be dumped into the Ocean meeting less than the secondary treatment standard, which itself is not that clean.  You would become very sick if you drank sewage treated only to the secondary level: there are viable virus, rampant worms, and live bacteria of all sort, a very lively collection of small critters, vermin and beasties.

Yet San Diego is going to continue to apply for the Waiver that allows it to dump sewage that doesn’t even meet secondary standards, little more than a settling operation and then flushing it out to sea.

Now there’s a lot of things they are not telling the people who rely on the Health Dept., who swim or surf.  More than you ever wanted to know.

One problem with sewage is a disease called “toxoplasmosis”, informally called “brain-worms” due to the main organ it affects.

The brain-worms are one-celled protozoans which thrive in the intestinal tract of cats and are found, in their most infectious form, in cat feces.  They persist in the environment for up to one year in their most virulent form.

More than one out of five Citizens of the USA are infected with Brain-worms.

The brain-worm normal life-cycle is to be ingested by a mouse, migrate through the intestinal wall and spread, replicating wildly.  When the mouse’s immune system detects the infection, the brain-worms migrate to the mouse’s brain, muscles and organ tissue and encyst inside sturdy membranes where they can hibernate throughout the life of the mouse. 

During this encysted state, the brain-worms affect the mouse’s fear of cat urine, making the mouse more likely to be eaten by a cat and thus continuing the spread of the brain-worms to new mammals.

There are three stages to the life of brain-worms:

OOCYST, eggs which are only produced by cats and are infectious about 24 hours after extretion but can live for up to a year in the soil, can’t be killed by sewage systems or disinfection;
TACHYZOITES, which are the wildly reproducing brain-worms before the immune system cranks up;
BRADYZOITES, which are the encysted form, can live for decades inside the host body.

With the advent of modern sewage treatment systems, large volumes of poorly-treated wastewater are discharged to the near-shore Ocean, usually less than a few miles offshore.  Especially where there is no secondary (biological) treatment, the sewage merely goes through a chemically-assisted settling process with the tincture flushed out to sea.

Many chemicals and pollutants move directly through the sewage plant without change, and “hitch-hike” through the outfall to land in the Ocean.  Where the discharged sewage ends up is officially a mystery; officials pretend not to know, but to pay for extensive “testing”. 

The only requirement is to test for live fecal bacteria concentrations; there is no test for “hitch-hiking” chemicals, virus, protozoans and other substances. 

The idea that these discharges don’t come back to the beach is a quaint belief best left to the gullible; those who know the Ocean realize that if an organic dye were added to the discharges, the beaches would be eternally purple.  Thus we might assume that dead fecal bacteria, and the other, accidental riders on the sewage stream, are also found throughout the water around outfalls.

One of the hitch-hikers is the OOCYST or active, infectious egg form of the brain-worms, which enter the sewage system during treatment of dry-season runoff, spills, other inflows, or, especially, from disposal of cat litter in the toilet.

These brain-worm eggs are desperately pitched into an unknown environment; they were never designed to be cast into seawater.  But they are hardy; they are designed to encapsulate in a form that remains active in the soil or wind-blown dust for up to a year.  That same protection also serves them in the Ocean.

The brain-worm eggs can last up to a year in the sea, but they desperately crave a mammal to infest.

Sea Otters eat lots of shellfish and other sea creatures which filter sea water; the brain-worm eggs accumulate in the Sea Otters in massive quantities.  Even after they are “immunized”, that is, their immune system is ready to kill the worms, some worms get to cells and burst them.

Mammalian swimmers and surfers who ingest the seawater are also potential targets for the brain-worm eggs.

When the brain-worm eggs are ingested, they come alive in the stomach of the Sea Otter or surfer, boring easily through the intestinal wall and migrating through the body.

The eggs invade individual cells, transmogrifying to the TACHYZOITE form, where they multiply rapidly in the cell, bursting it and spewing brain-worm larvae out to infest other cells. 

The mammalian immune system, reacting to the invading worms, attacks them; they then go into “hiding”, migrating to the brain and other organs and building protective walls in the BRADYZOITE form.  As such, if you eat the uncooked flesh of an infected mammal, you can become infected.

But even if immunized, new brain-worms can damage the host cells before the immune system can get to them; this cumulative damage can itself be fatal.

About 22% of the USA population is walking around with brain-worms encysted in their muscles and/or brains, likely proving that yes, the sewage does come back to shore, infesting Sea Otters as well as swimmers and surfers.

EFFECTS OF BRAIN-WORM INFESTATION

1.      Once your immune system is aware of the brain-worms, new infestations are destroyed or, possibly, forced to encyst prematurely, so the host is said to be “immune” but may accumulate new injuries.  Sea Otters, who ingest massive amounts of eggs, do die from new infestations.  Once a cell is burst with brain-worm larvae, it is not replaced, creating a tiny “hole” in organs or flesh.

2.      Pregnant women can pass the infestation to their foetus, which can result in death to the foetus; also, immuno-deficient individuals can fail to stop the infestations, and perish.

3.      The eggs are not infectious for 24 hours after the cat expels the feces, but remain a danger for up to a year in soil.  The feces can disintegrate, and the eggs can be ingested in wind-borne dust or via hand-mouth contact.

4.      Some studies are showing that infected humans exhibit behavioural changes, perhaps analogous to infected mice, and other potential effects.

Surfer Magazine ran a piece on the brain-worm issue, but the “expert” claimed that it was no big deal, that the sewage probably doesn’t come back to shore, and that you could become “immune” to brian worms, all questionable.  Brain worms are real, and infest a significant portion of the population; anyone swimming in sewage that contains cat feces is at risk.

San Diego, and other places that generate massive sewage outflows, may be doing more harm than good by spreading our debris, containing items such as brain-worms, out into the sea.  In this sense, sewage outfalls are not eliminating the problem of sewage, but spreading the infection more widely and dangerously.

Whether or not the sewage waiver is granted by Obama’s EPA, San Diego should clean up its act; and the Sierra Club, Surfrider and Coastkeeper should not support dumping poorly treated sewage into the Ocean.

/Doug Korthof
562-430-2495

Joey Racano

805 540-8970

our founder:

 

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EarthSourceMedia Reports for January 3rd, 2009

‘Neon Lake Leon’

1 month into the whirlind USA tour now, and EarthSourceMedia has collected up a barrel full of great pics, great stories and great adventure! Let me share a bit…

There is something to be said for making all those random decisions and wrong turns that, in the end, lead you to a place like Lake Leon. Situated in Eastland, Texas, our mighty ‘Skacciabong’ now sits on the north shore of a dam-created lake, and once you get over the obvious sad tale of any dammed river, the beauty and serenity is astounding. ’No Service’ screamed my cell phone, and of course, this just as it says, ‘1 new voicemail’.  So let the suspense kill me, I’ll check it at some point on the road to our next stop, Tuscon, Arizona.

But I must wonder, was it Barack obama offering me some high-level position in his administration? Hmm. It would be possible if reports didn’t already show that I might say something embarassing on TV or something anytime some industrial bully tried to hurt a little Red Squirrel like the one my dog has been watching at the base of a tree on the shoreline. But in my own defense, I must say I know how to give orders though- such as, “Trinka, No! Leave daddy’s nice squirrel alone!” And there are repercussions too. The dogs have been angry ever since yesterday when Sandra remembered we kept a big bag of peanuts stowed below decks and I spread them out beneath that line of trees. Gorgeous trees, sparse for the season, making for such lovely sillouhettes.

So very much has happened on the trip and of course there’s just no real time to stop and tell it all. Like what, you ask? Like we bought my sister a herd of Buffalo, for her ranch in Farmersville Texas, how’s that for starters? A sister I hadn’t seen in 40 years, and we’re like twins! And the Buffalo! Bought from a Lakota named Arby Littlesoldier, a grandson of Sitting Bull no less, who handed me a Buffalo skull as a gift of honor! It’s sitting on the dash for now because it’s too big to fit anywhere else except the bed. I am so stoked. Can’t wait to paint it. (www.dakotabuffalo.com).

This RV park, called NorthShore RV Park, is both remote and beautiful, with these cool little lights at each parking slot that shine amber in the dark of night. Mornings bring heavenly glory, an occasional fishing scow backlit and sillouhetted, the entire primordial scene illuminated by the sun. There are some housing pads already cut, where homes may one day be built but have been delayed by the housing ‘crisis’. Ya gotta love that housing crisis!! Cormorants sit drying their wings atop sun-bleached tree stumps, relics of a forest that once stood beside a flowing river, now long-since drowned by the dam.

As one who has lived on the mighty Pacific for the last 18 years, these shores are quiet, believe me, and the bleached rocks are littered with an occasional turtle carapace and the skulls of gigantic carp who dwell within. In a place like this, it is hard to envision mortars or rockets or rat race. Hopefully someday, when we have enough trouble envisioning the toys of discontent, they will vanish forever. But not so, the neon of Lake Leon.

joey racano

 

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EarthSourceMedia Reports for December 28th, 2008

‘Up Your Ash (clean coal or dirty dems?)’

The EarthSourceMedia whirlwind tour is now in Vicksburg, Mississippi, our 11th state. On our way, we have seen some incredible commentary on the state of the nation, such as in the form of a giant confederate flag looming atop a 100′ flag pole on the I-75 Interstate Highway, just as you drive into Tampa, Florida. As in thousands upon thousands of dead deer, ‘possums, raccoons, coyotes, skunks, hawks, armadillos, badgers and other wildlife crushed on the roadways, and as in logging, mudslides and clear cuts in Alabama, Florida and Mississippi, many dogs left abandoned on the highwaysides throughout Alabama (I thought you guys loved dogs?), and other assorted ignorance various and sundry. The trip has had it’s high points, like when we saved a turtle off the freeway, and it’s low points, like when my neice handed me a calander of scantily-clad fireman (one being her husband) in leiu of a family dinner.

But wherever I roam, I never forget the journalist angle, and have been keeping a close eye on the goings-on, both globally and locally. In that spirit, I would like to make some comments and observations:

Laura Bush and Condi Rice are saying the Bush presidency has not been a failure. We here at EarthSourceMedia agree wholeheartedly, so long as he was trying to destroy America, kill a million people, ravage the worlds ecology and economy, and set the stage for ’1984′.

   A relative of someone who died aboard ‘Flight 93′ (the ill-fated jet of “Let’s roll!” fame, that was hijacked and subsequently crashed in a field outside of Philladelphia) is asking Bush to take by force the land needed for a 2,000+ acre memorial from the owner. Now, wouldn’t that just be the greatest precedent to set, stealing private land to build a symbol for the American fascist movement? Then, Bush can use ‘eminent domain’ to usurp 2 square feet from every lawn in America to build a flag pole, where an American flag -at least 10 feet X 20 feet- shall be displayed 365 days a year, ready to be moved to half-mast at a moments notice whenever anyone in the military, police, or fire department kills themselves after shooting their estranged wife and her new lover. -ESM

While flipping through the channels, I came upon an eery site, right out of ‘V’ is for Vendetta’: As a camera rolled showing World Wrestling Federation stars (obviously on hiatus from shooting steroids and then their loved ones) visiting our troops, in the background was the face of our fearless leader George W. Bush saying things like, “These are the real heroes”, and “For these past 8 years, we’ve worked together to free the world from terrorism” and other assorted ignorant war-mongering nonsensical double-talk, designed especially to brainwash the youth at home watching, in hopes some of them will go and enlist and head for Afghanistan. The only thing greater than my revulsion for that stupid talking head who will hopefully vanish into oblivion a month from now, was my astonishment at how sci-fi like these events are becoming in real life. I was waiting for a puff of smoke and for him to exclaim, “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!”  -ESM

And then, there are the Israelis, just-a-bomb, bomb, bombing away at Gaza even as we speak, killing more then several hundred people in the last two days alone, supposedly because they are ’sick of the violence’. If these assholes are Gods chosen people, then God has not chosen wisely. -jr

Finally, how could I do a blog without mentioning the billion gallon spill of coal ash into the waterways of our heartland that has been largely kept out of the mainstream press because both the democrats and the republicans are kissing the butt of big coal? That’s a billion gallons, like a hundred Exxon Valdez spills!! Clean coal indeed!

Well, that’s our show for today- hope to be with you again on a daily basis as soon as this traveling calms down a bit. So, for EarthSourceMedia, this is joey racano saying, ‘goodnight and go with grace!’  -ESM

 

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Bald Eagle in Fort Myers, Fla. - Racano photo 

EarthSourceMedia Reports for Christmas Eve, December 24th, 2008

‘Twas the Fight Before Christmas’

by joey racano

Twas the fight before christmas, we were all in our beds,

not a blogger was stirring, after threats from the feds

After reading through the USA Today with care,

I wanted to curse them, but I didn’t dare!

They were after a blogger at the top of page 3,

and I couldn’t be sure if that blogger was me!

Throughout the whole article to my surprise,

Department of Homeland Security tries

to search through our blogs for terrorist ties,

while the rest of America eats pumpkin pies!

Now, what kind of christmas can we have at home,

when these fascist nazis won’t leave anyone alone?

Especially scary, is the fact that it’s they

who spread terror, and take hard-won freedoms away!

So do me a favor, as the holiday draws near-

Blog your ass off through Christmas -and have a happy new year!

joey racano

(Editor, EarthSourceMedia)

 

our founder

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Tags: homeland security, bald eagle, terrorist, christmas, twas the night before, holidays, freedom, pumpkin pie, nazi, fascism

EarthSourceMedia Reports for December 16th, 2008

MAN of the YEAR 2008

As our readers know, we are currently on the road and writing intermittently through a blizzard of stormy ice. Thus far, EarthSourceMedia has covered 8 states gathering photos and facts and stories for future broadcast. However, (as was stolen from us by TIME MAGAZINE), we present to the public each year she or he who best exemplifies those qualities that may well yet save the Earth; courage, conviction, service in the name of that which is greater than ourselves. And we have named our model for the year ending in just a few days. His name is Muntather Al-Zaidi, a name that will be sung at campfires in the centuries to come (of course, we say campfires because mankind will be reduced to such small tribal gatherings in the not-too-distant future due to radiation, persistant poisons, logging, and warfare- see ya there, don’t forget to bring flint and some stone implements).

Muntather Al-Zaidi is awarded the ESM MAN of the YEAR for excellence in journalism and bravery in the face of fascism. Unfortunately, he is already being tortured in an American-run concentration camp and will likely eventually be executed. But enough with the sad details- ladies and gentleman of the EarthSourceMedia family, we give you hope. We give you a bright and shining light. We give you a hero! We give you Muntather Al-Zaidi!

Muntather Al-Zaidi

Now, as you watch the delightful video above over and over again, like the last pitch of a world series no hitter, it behooves you to listen to the blathering idiot American reporters who won't even give the real words this brave journalist said as he threw strike after strike, right down the middle. Due to the broad yellow stripe down the back of these do-nothing, know nothing, stand-for-nothing lady reporters, it falls upon EarthSourceMedia to give the actual words this heroic figure said...(ESM style, of course!)

From the press booth high in a 'skybox' above the baseball diamond:

*(Yes, it's a, a little glarey in here at gametime but it should- it, it should  be one for the record books, don't you think? Marv? Marv? MARV! Will you stop biting the lady for a moment and...

Oh, yes, sorry, sorry, -can you pass me that napkin? Yes, She-

Good christ get a hold of yourself man- NO NO! Thats not what I mean! ...oh whats the-

...and so here's the pitch as Muntather Al-Zaidi checks the runner, chews a bit-o tobacca, and winds, deals, delivers a -STRIKE!* right down the middle of that petty coward of a dictator who thinks God wanted him to steal the 2000 election and wait- let's go to the HERO-CAM for a listen to Muntather Al-Zaidi:

"Here is your farewell kiss, you kalb (dog)!”

And the secret service is stunned! Not a movement to aid their deranged leader and former cocaine addict George W. Bush, now known to have suppressed information that would have stopped the war in Iraq, spied on millions of Americans illegally, betrayed the identity of Valerie Plame, a US secret agent during time of war (firing squad?) and authorized torture and kidnapping of citizens of the world. No, these guys are too focused on letting Barack Obama get killed by white supremacists, as was reported in national news that Bush denied Obama's request to move his family into the safety of the white house guest house. No, the Bushies would like to let them be exposed to danger, thankyouverymuch.

And here's the second pitch, as he rears back to throw, and a high leg kick and back to the HERO-CAM an mic for a listen:

"And this one, dog, is for all the widows and dead children you son of a stinking ..."

Wow! Did you see that one Marv? A true hero in this day and age! And the reporters on MSNBC, what gutless fascist collaborators not to report the man's actual words but instead the press called this a 'security scare'. Yes, we at EarthSourceMedia call it a security scare alright- we're all scared because the security is getting so out of control we'll all have to get an iris scan to go to the corner market soon!

And as we are denied reporting on the Bush Cheney Rumsfeld Rice Ashcroft Gonzales crimes by a bought and paid for spineless media who would rather report on the impeachment of the Illinois governor (while Bush walks free!) and other lesser crimes that should be relegated to the end of a long list while we as Americans back up the international community and try our own leaders for the war crimes they continue to this day to commit.

Until that golden day when we drag our butts off the floor and get our great country back into the game, at least we can take heart in the heroic deeds of world citizens like Muntather Al-Zaidi. Want to do something for America? Demand the immediate release of Muntather Al-Zaidi!

Hoping your gameface if still the sameface... 

For EarthSourceMedia, this is joey racano saying, Goodnight and go with grace".  -ESM 

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