photo-Associated Press
EarthSourceMedia Reports for April 1oth, 2010
‘2012- Rise of the Tea-tards‘
“Because you are lukewarm -neither hot or cold- I am about to spit you out of my mouth”
-Revelation 3:14
~2012- Rise of the Tea-tards~
Oh well, so every time one of them politicians or security guards gets shot in Washington DC, so what if the guns all get traced back to the same precinct at the Memphis Police department? I dont pay no never mind to scuttlebutt no how. The Pope, Lord bless im, he was just lookin out for all good Christians, and not just the special case of a few boys got caught up in a perversion, makes perfect sense today.
And how can a man whose name starts with kiss ever got hisself involved in any way with assastinations and such? I dont believe not a word they say. He may have been short as a cake but he was long on patriarctism.
And all I know is I dont give a cockerels crow how many times some fool or other shoots up the campus at West Virginnie Growd Up School, it dont mean theres one of those Manchurikan things got up and present. I am just tired of conspiritations always hoggin up the news sheets what with all the important stuff goin on- like the mine collapse for instance.
Now those people there, God love em, even though I feared for what they was briggin outs that mine to warm the rest of the planet, I wasnt about to mention it what with them dyin and all. Its just not right to get folkses dander up when you could instead keep things civil-like. No trouble, no fightin and hollarin, no worries, no heartburn.
And those silly fools gone shot up the merican flag and marched at Obamas Whitehouse for to make a big scene about reformed help-care? Ill had none of it, cause it can only lead to trouble what with those fools got guns n all. Town Firemans hung a stuffed monkey to make a point but that was just plain nasty- even called the President an enigma, but I dont see how race got to do with it.
Just pay you no mind, keep your head on strate and when it counts when its time to vote, now- dont tell but vote Democratist and thatll be enough. That will be enough. Now go on about your business and dont make waves with no crazies, ya hear? Thingsll work out just fine by theyselves.
-Bless your heart,
-Aunt Grenda, April 10th, 2010, Knoxville Tennessee
February 17th, 2012 New York, NY (CBS Newscast)
Hello, from the Rockies in the west to the Appalachians in the east, to the wall of Canada in the north to the great wall of Mexico in the south, Im Dan Rather jr, reporting for CBS news. As you know, my father made the decision to report on the AWOL stint from the Texas Air National Guard by former President of the United States and now Grande Chancellor Ultimus George W. Bush, and that is how Dad got fired and I, and the next six sons must work free for CBS. Tonight we bring you a story about the new merger between Rupert Murdoch and Silvio Berlusconi. Angering women, Berlusconi told a televised audience today that Italian women are so beautiful, we have no choice but to pinch them, just to keep them awake because they look like Sleeping Beauty.
In other news, President Palin announced an end to the controversial aerial hunting of wolves. This is the first official word handed down from the Whitehouse since the last wolf was sighted some two and a half years ago. We now take you live to Afghanistan, where special forces are completing Operation Freedom, so named for the hard working special ops team who are using pocket knives to free their bullets from the bodies of two pregnant women who were apparently plotting terrorism in their home last night during a celebration honoring the birth of a new grandson. Reuters was originally supposed to report this one, but they were killed today when a US helicopter team who thought they were playing a video game shot them with automatic weapons. Now back to the studio with (music)
Knoxville Tennessee 2012 Aunt Grendas house-
(Wailing of air-raid sirens)
Maw, maw, wake up, I think the house might be on fire!
Huh? Wha- I dont smell nuthin, are you sure
Here, throw this on and lets get out
Land sakes Paw, that aint no fire alarm, its an air-raid siren!
What in tarnation ?
(Loudspeaker)
IS THE NATIONAL GUARD NO NEED TO BE ALARMED LEAVE YOUR HOMES QUICKLY AND QUIETLY LINE UP ON THE CURBSIDE IN FRONT OF YOUR OWN ADDRESS HOLD YOUR IDENTIFICATION OUT IN FRONT OF YOU IN THE PALM OF
Paw. Paw, Im scared- what in the Sam Hill is goin on at this time a- night? Lordy-be its nine oclock, and theyre
(Uniformed soldier steps down from military vehicle, walks to the curbside and takes I.D. from Aunt Grendas badly shaking hand)
Mrs. Grenda, are you now or have ever you been a member of the Democratic Party?
Why..Ye
(Paw squeezes her other hand hard)
Why no sir, not for a minute ever!
Have you ever been engaged in any terrorist activity of any kind, a member of the Communist Party, a pinko, a commie fag, a left-winged sore-losin enviro mentalist
Now what just a darn-tootin minute, sonny, says paw. Why are you singlin out us god-fearin hard-workin
Well, Mr. Grendle, I got my orders, and thems to look out fer trouble that might call itself to the attention of my trained eye what thats been trained malidgulously by your very tax dollars see? And you wouldnt want the US Government to waste your hard earned tax dollars, see?
Ri-i-i-ght says Paw.
An I come drivin by at the speed of a hare an even then I couldnt help notice all the homes on the blocks got their own version of Old Glory, the same American flags hung at the Pentagram since George Wallace was Governor of Alabama.
Yes-s-s?
All the homes got their own American flag, Mr. Grenda, all but exceptin one- yours. And that can mean to me all manner of things. Instead of a red white and blue flag, I just sees me a red flag, like maybe you might hate America. Maybe youd like to do harm to her. Maybe, just maybe
Now see hear, Officer officer uhh (searches for name tag or badge, but finds no ID on the soldier)
Were good American folks an we bin here all our lives.
(Commander walks up)
Sargeant 291037, what seems to be the problem here?
These folks are the only one on the block without an American flag, sir.
Oh, and why umm, Mr. uhh Grenda, why is that?
Well, its bein washed sir, thets all, its bein washed, aint thet right maw?
Thats exactly- an there aint no law-
WRONG Mrs. Grenda, now see here, Sergeant 291037, read it to them please
Yessir- By order of President and Evangelical Guidance Minister of the U-nited States of the Americas Sarah Palin, all homes, ALL, it says here- all homes will fore to with carry and from this day forth and even on Sunday, fly the appropriate, see: appropriate= American; flag to be wholly and easily visible on their front porch AND in their front window and failing that, tattooed on both forehead and topside of right hand, by penalty of .
I didnt know nothin about that..
No excuse is ignorant of the law, Mrs grenda. Allright, take her away here 291037, to the rock breakin detention facility in Arizona sergeant.
No! No!! No-o-o-o-o-o-o-0-0-0-0-0-0-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Aunt Grenda, lying down, covered in sweat, wakes back home in bed):
no no no! no no
Maw- wake up maw- yer havin a bad dream!
Oh oh oh Oh Paw it were awful! There was Sarah Pa-
Now now, there you are, it allright now
Oh no it aint neither Paw! And I aint gonna take fer granted no more that those Corporaterations are gonna give the same money to the democratic as the reposessors party and expect no less to say about what goes on, ya hear? Were goin out tomorra and re-registrin to the Greek party, ya hear?
Yes maw- now go back to bed an everythins gonna be alllllll…….riiiiight!
z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-
our founder
Tags:
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