2012- Rise of the Tea-tards

R-r-r-right face!

photo-Associated Press

EarthSourceMedia Reports for April 1oth, 2010

2012- Rise of the Tea-tards

“Because you are lukewarm -neither hot or cold- I am about to spit you out of my mouth”

-Revelation 3:14

~2012- Rise of the Tea-tards~

“Oh well, so every time one of them politicians or security guards gets shot in Washington DC, so what if the guns all get traced back to the same precinct at the Memphis Police department? I don’t pay no never mind to scuttlebutt no how.  The Pope, Lord bless ‘im, he was just lookin’ out for all good Christians, and not just the special case of a few boys got caught up in a perversion, makes perfect sense today.

And how can a man whose name starts with ‘kiss’ ever got hisself involved in any way with assastinations and such? I don’t believe not a word they say. He may have been short as a cake but he was long on patriarctism.

And all I know is I don’t give a cockerel’s crow how many times some fool or other shoots up the campus at West Virginnie Grow’d Up School, it don’t mean there’s one of those Manchurikan things got up and present. I am just tired of conspiritations always hoggin’ up the news sheets what with all the important stuff goin’ on- like the mine collapse for instance.

Now those people there, God love ‘em, even though I feared for what they was briggin’ outs that mine to warm the rest of the planet, I wasn’t about to mention it what with them dyin’ and all. It’s just not right to get folkses dander up when you could instead keep things civil-like. No trouble, no fightin’ and hollarin’, no worries, no heartburn.

And those silly fools gone shot up the ‘merican flag and marched at Obama’s Whitehouse for to make a big scene about reformed help-care? I’ll had none of it, ‘cause it can only lead to trouble what with those fools got guns ‘n all. Town Firemans hung a stuffed monkey to make a point but that was just plain nasty- even called the President an enigma, but I don’t see how race got to do with it.

Just pay you no mind, keep your head on strate and when it counts –when it’s time to vote, now- don’t tell but vote Democratist and that’ll be enough. That will be enough. Now go on about your business and don’t make waves with no crazies, ya hear? Thingsll work out just fine by theyselves.”

-Bless your heart,

-Aunt Grenda, April 10th, 2010, Knoxville Tennessee

 

February 17th, 2012 New York, NY (CBS Newscast)

‘Hello, from the Rockies in the west to the Appalachians in the east, to the wall of Canada in the north to the great wall of Mexico in the south, I’m Dan Rather jr, reporting for CBS news. As you know, my father made the decision to report on the AWOL stint from the Texas Air National Guard by former President of the United States and now Grande Chancellor Ultimus George W. Bush, and that is how Dad got fired and I, and the next six sons must work free for CBS. Tonight we bring you a story about the new merger between Rupert Murdoch and Silvio Berlusconi. Angering women, Berlusconi told a televised audience today that “Italian women are so beautiful, we have no choice but to pinch them, just to keep them awake because they look like Sleeping Beauty”.

In other news, President Palin announced an end to the controversial aerial hunting of wolves. This is the first official word handed down from the Whitehouse since the last wolf was sighted some two and a half years ago. We now take you live to Afghanistan, where special forces are completing ‘Operation Freedom’, so named for the hard working special ops team who are using pocket knives to ‘free’ their bullets from the bodies of two pregnant women who were apparently plotting terrorism in their home last night during a celebration honoring the birth of a new grandson. Reuters was originally supposed to report this one, but they were killed today when a US helicopter team who thought they were playing a video game shot them with automatic weapons. Now back to the studio with…” (music)…

Knoxville Tennessee 2012 Aunt Grenda’s house-

(Wailing of air-raid sirens)

“Maw, maw, wake up, I think the house might be on fire!”

“Huh? Wha- I don’t smell nuthin’, are you sure…”

“Here, throw this on and let’s get out…”

“Land sakes Paw, that ain’t no fire alarm, it’s an air-raid siren!”

“What in tarnation…?”

(Loudspeaker)

…IS THE NATIONAL GUARD NO NEED TO BE ALARMED LEAVE YOUR HOMES QUICKLY AND QUIETLY LINE UP ON THE CURBSIDE IN FRONT OF YOUR OWN ADDRESS HOLD YOUR IDENTIFICATION OUT IN FRONT OF YOU IN THE PALM OF…

“Paw. Paw, I’m scared- what in the Sam Hill is goin’ on at this time –a- night? Lordy-be it’s nine o’clock, and they’re…”

(Uniformed soldier steps down from military vehicle, walks to the curbside and takes I.D. from Aunt Grenda’s badly shaking hand)…

“Mrs. Grenda, are you now or have ever you been a member of the Democratic Party?”

“Why..Ye…”

(Paw squeezes her other hand hard)

…Why no sir, not for a minute ever!”

“Have you ever been engaged in any terrorist activity of any kind, a member of the Communist Party, a pinko, a commie fag, a left-winged sore-losin’ enviro mentalist…”

“Now what just a darn-tootin’ minute, sonny”, says paw. Why are you singlin’ out us god-fearin’ hard-workin’…”

“Well, Mr. Grendle, I got my orders, and them’s to look out fer trouble that might call itself to the attention of my trained eye what that’s been trained malidgulously by your very tax dollars see? And you wouldn’t want the US Government to waste your hard earned tax dollars, see?”

“Ri-i-i-ght” says Paw.

“An’ I come drivin’ by at the speed of a hare an’ even then I couldn’t help notice all the homes on the block’s got their own version of Old Glory, the same American flag’s hung at the Pentagram since George Wallace was Governor of Alabama.”

“Yes-s-s”?

“All the homes got their own American flag, Mr. Grenda, all but exceptin’ one- yours. And that can mean to me all manner of things. Instead of a red white and blue flag, I just see’s me a red flag, like maybe you might hate America. Maybe you’d like to do harm to her. Maybe, just maybe…”

“Now see hear, Officer…officer uhh…” (searches for name tag or badge, but finds no ID on the soldier)…

We’re good American folks an’ we bin’ here all our lives.”

(Commander walks up)

“Sargeant 291037, what seems to be the problem here?”

“These folks are the only one on the block without an American flag, sir.”

“Oh, and why…umm, Mr. uhh Grenda, why is that?”

“Well, it’s bein’ washed sir, thet’s all, it’s bein’ washed, ain’t thet right maw?”

“That’s exactly- an there ain’t no law-“

“WRONG Mrs. Grenda, now see here, Sergeant 291037, read it to them please…”

“Yessir- By order of President and Evangelical Guidance Minister of the U-nited States of the Americas Sarah Palin, all homes, ALL, it says here- all homes will fore to with carry and from this day forth and even on Sunday, fly the appropriate, see: ‘appropriate= American; flag to be wholly and easily visible on their front porch AND in their front window and failing that, tattooed on both forehead and topside of right hand, by penalty of….”

“I didn’t know nothin’ about that’..”

“No excuse is ignorant of the law, Mrs grenda. Allright, take her away here 291037, to the rock breakin’ detention facility in Arizona sergeant.”

“No! No!! No-o-o-o-o-o-o-0-0-0-0-0-0-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

(Aunt Grenda, lying down, covered in sweat, wakes back home in bed):

“no   no   no!  no   no”

  “Maw- wake up maw- yer havin’ a bad dream!”

“Oh  oh  oh  Oh Paw it were awful! There was Sarah Pa-“

“Now now, there you are, it’ allright now…”

“Oh no it ain’t neither Paw! And I ain’t gonna take fer granted no more that those Corporaterations are gonna give the same money to the democratic as the reposessors party and expect no less to say about what goes on, ya hear? W’ere goin’ out tomorra and re-registrin’ to the Greek party, ya hear?”

“Yes maw- now go back to bed an everythin’s gonna be alllllll…….riiiiight!”

z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-

 joey racano

our founder

Tags:

obama, terrorism, tea party, sarah palin, palin, alaska, new york, cbs, dan rather, helicopter, automatic weapons, murder, cover up, digging bullets out, pregnant woman killed, journalist killed, us troops, national guard, bush, cheney, runsfeld, condi, war, democratic party, democrats, republicans, republican party, Rupert Murdoch, silvio Berlusconi, media, air raid siren, siren, alarm, vote, voting, earth, source, politics, barbed wire, loudspeaker, military, military vehicle, armored vehicle, detention center, Afghanistan, bullets, coverup, cover up  

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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