Archive for November, 2009

Nine Eleven, Bombs and Heaven

Saturday, November 14th, 2009

Controlled Demolition

EarthSourceMedia Reports for November 13th, 2009

‘Nine eleven, bombs and heaven,

ingrained in your brain since you were seven

Led by nuts who like little boys butts

and building the military, while the schools get cuts

Pointing their guns at the buns of nuns-

I received communion and it gave me the runs’

Nine Eleven, Bombs and Heaven  by joey racano

We Will Never Forget’, said the giant idiot-scroll, held by 21st-Century Nazi’s who are too stupid to even know they’re fascists. Of course, these men with the small brains and matching penises were celebrating the soon-to-come trial of the supposed ‘masterminds’ of the horrendous attacks on the World Trade center that fateful morning in 2001. I mean, can these fat hairy budweiser-drinking slobs with the IQ’s of a bike rack at least get original? How many times has that slogan been used since Pearl Harbor? Of course, according to the shadowy ‘Project for a New American Century’, the 9-11 attack was supposed to be just that- ‘another Pearl Harbor‘. That’s a direct quote by the project’s architect, Paul Wolfowitz, who went on to head the World Bank (though the world screamed for Bono). Wolfowitz went further on to resign in disgrace from that post, along with other Bush/Cheney criminals who made bad, like John Bolton forced from the UN, and Bernard Kerick, former NYC Police Commissioner and candidate to head Homeland Security, who went to prison just a few days ago for Federal crimes.

The trials of the so-called 9-11 master minds will take place in New York at some date in the future in a civilian court, and prosecutors will seek the death penalty. But here at EarthSourceMedia, we hope that the real masterminds behind the events of 9-11 -and it’s use to steer America further to the right than the first turn on San Francisco’s Bay Bridge, will be tried as well. And we all know this was a plan championed by Dick ‘don’t take me duck hunting’ Cheney.

Idiots at Work

Let me put it this way- if you don’t know 9-11 was a set-up, an ‘inside job’, a put on, a crime by Americans against Americans, a plan to turn a free country into a 50 something-state prison, then you must be a product of the Catholic Church or the New York public school system. Friends, WE DID IT TO OURSELVES YO. Try to wrap your mind around that for a second- we blew up our own shit. And in the 9 years since, our citizens have been bombarded even harder with fear tactics, vampire movies, and pictures of black men alongside stories of heinous crimes they likely didn’t commit but will certainly be imprisoned for.

Even the very stupidest of us (Republicans, Democrats, NASCAR fans, religious people and the tea-bag crowd) know America has taken to kidnapping and torturing people- even killing some by crucifixion. And yet, where is that investigation? In Italy, 30 members of the CIA were found guilty of such crimes, tried in absentia, but that is little consolation to me. I want to see Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld and the rest of those Nazi war criminals hung higher than a special forces team protecting an Afghan poppy field. However, it seems more likely that people who speak out, like moi,  will suffer such a fate.

Just yesterday, a judge told lawyers for Valerie Plame she couldn’t use classified statements in her book, even though those statements had already been blabbed to the press. But the judge did say that an investigation might be appropriate for those who first blabbed- and that was Bush and Cheney. Valerie had been a US secret agent working against Iranian nukes during wartime, yet they revealed her identity to the press- wartime treason deserving of the firing squad! Now there’s a fund-raising idea! Can you imagine the deluge of requests to be on that squad? White gloves, drums, a last cigarette, and ka-pow!

Mr. Don’t forget man, can’t you see how polarized this is making the country? And if this weren’t Orwellian enough, now the Feds have taken over 4 Mosques and a 36 story skyscraper in downtown Manhattan! What frightening bullshit! So, it’s a crime to be a Muslum? It’s a crime to be Iranian? Why didn’t we seize any Christian churches? Those fuckheads have done more to hurt this country than a jesus-load of jet fuel ever will. And the smelly gorillas  with the Don’t Forget sign want to try the Iraqi guys? People, please. If there is one crime in this world bigger than the whole Iraq invasion and subsequent kidnap- torture of world citizens by American leaders, that crime is being one of these assholes who won’t let the world forget – or heal.

Joey Racano, Editor, EarthSourceMedia

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Folks for Oaks

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009

 Folks for Oaks

EarthSourceMedia Reports for November 10th, 2009

Folks for Oaks

All throughout the world of journalism, the internet revolution is forcing changes in the media terrain. For instance, the new version of the San Francisco Chronicle comes replete with shiny color pictures, even as Tribune newspapers are experimenting by not using Associated Press photos. Here at EarthSourceMedia, we hope to fuel such revolution, not only journalistically, but literally as well, simply by telling the truth when no one else will.  Cred? You want to see our cred? ‘We don’t need no stinking credibility’ – you’d only threaten us with it! It is the opinion of our editorial department (me!) that with all the shit being done to Americans by America, everyone should be pretty pissed off by now. Pissed off enough to, say, revolt? Or at least piss in somebody important’s sun tea? I did. Go ahead, google it.

Felled Oaks

Anyway, let’s get to all the news that’s fit to spit:

San Francisco- According to a letter in yesterday’s paper, a mentally ill man is being prosecuted for entering a Grizzly Bear enclosure at the San Francisco Zoo, and the letter writer thinks it’s a waste of money. So do I- it’s obvious that the zoo should be prosecuted for animal cruelty for keeping creatures in cages. Zoo’s are nothing more than an excuse to destroy real natural habitat and a sane society would close them all down immediately.

Oakland, California- Ever wonder why EarthSourceMedia doesn’t have a sports section? It’s because we hate sports. We believe sports are for losers. Now, it didn’t used to be that way. This anti-sports venom began at the same time the nazi’s took over America, in 1994 when capitalism ate the World Series! Check the record books. In 1994 there was no World Series! The players went on strike, the season was over, and there was no fall classic. Have you watched any of these games and seen who the sponsors are? Budweiser! Telling twenty million children watching the series to drink beer? How fucked up is that!? %#$@!

But it all went to new heights in 2008, when UC Berkeley wanted to build a new football stadium for the Cal Golden Bears, and cut down an entire grove of Old Growth California Oak Trees next door, for an atheletic field. The area’s kids wanted none of it and they took to the trees, where they lived for about two years, causing an international introspection. What was important, the score or the Earth?

Well, as Alameda County Superior Court Judge Barbara J. Miller saw it in her September 2008 decision, it was the score, and she ordered the tree sitters removed, and the trees cut down. The activists tried to save even one tree in the end, but they cut them all down. How could the good judge be so heartless? We just don’t know, but it is our job to report that she was found dead at her Oakland home last Friday, likely by natural causes. In the interest of true justice, we here at EarthSourceMedia suggest a grove of trees be planted in her honor, and area dog owners bring their dogs to a ceremony to piss on them.

Fort Hood, Texas- Well, it’s finally happened. The soldier who shot 13 of his fellow soldiers (you know, the ones who drew a camel on his car and wrote, ‘camel jockey get out’?) ..well apparently, someone- maybe Dick Cheney- has connected him to 9-11! I knew it, I knew it. This is getting more fun than watching Jesus Camp! Here at EarthSourceMedia, we know it’s gotten hard to believe anything the US says about Swine Flu, election results, downer cattle, or people connected to 9-11, but there may be something to it after all. For instance, When George Bush and Dick Cheney kept saying the name Saddam Hussein in the same sentence as 9-11, it did actually become connected after about the 90th time they said it on TV. Mainly because American’s are a stupid. If you believe there are angels on your shoulder, a devil beneath the Earth’s crust, and a jealous ruler of the universe who wants you all to sing in a building together on Sunday, you’ve got to be very fucked up.

And gullible. And that’s the way they want you, so you can be the cattle who go to work and make the money to give to them so they can give it to all their friends.

Now that we ‘know’ Hasan and Hussein were ‘connected’ to 9-11, EarthSourceMedia has formed a list of others who also have been found with connections to that plot:

1. Richard Pryor…The comedian was heard to yell, “Ahallu Akbar” as he lit the crack pipe that burned his face.

2. Jerry Lewis…Jerry’s hidden muslim faith caused him to attend a terror camp where he planned to kill crippled people around the clock during his last telethon.

3. George Washington…The CIA has discovered the 9-11 plot actually had it’s beginning as a scheme dreamed up by our first President as he crossed the Deleware.

4. Phyllis Diller…The lady comic often spoke of a hubby named ‘Fang’ who the FBI says probably went to flight school with 9-11 terrorists.

5. Newt Gingrich…His ‘Contract with America’ was one part of the 9-11 plot to bring down America.

6.   Rush Limbaugh…Rush’s part in the 9-11 plot was designed to create a nation of addicts through his radio show. The CIA and Columbia’s Uribe beat him to it.

7. Benji the dog….This covert canine wore a turban between movie shoots and once planned to blow up his trailer if food demands weren’t met.

8. All the contestants on ‘Survivor’…they were actually practicing to be the only ones left alive after the planes hit and started a nuclear war. Look close at the red wristbands they wear, affording them entry to Dick Cheney’s underground post-nuclear lair.

9. Bernie Madoff…his part was to become incarcerated to destroy America from inside the prison system, outward.

10. Jesus Christ…refusing to cut his hair (a sign of membership in the Taliban), this demigod whipped up a tremendous amount of fundamentalism during his brief stay on Earth, last seen glowing, floating, and speaking to someone invisible. Could have been wearing a head set. Connected to Al-Qeda headquarters. In Pakistan. On September 10th, 2001. Violated no-fly zone.

Well, that’s it for this episode of ESM-  come back next time for more incredulous commentary on the incredible fall of the Roman- I mean American empire, as we loot brains, wallets, Somali fisheries and mid-eastern oil reserves. And don’t forget to sign over your kids when they want to enlist! After all, those ‘Modern Warfare’ video games won’t satisfy their blood lust forever, you know!

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The Doctor is IN- Manchurian Psychiatrist

Friday, November 6th, 2009

 The Doctor is IN

The Doctor is IN

EarthSourceMedia reports for Friday, November 6th, 2009

The Doctor is IN- Manchurian Psychiatrist

Fort Hood, Texas

Another beautiful day in the US Military- job security, respect, buddies, chores. And as a military psychiatrist, let’s face it, there’s always someone to work on, if you’re country is in one war after another.  Ah, my office! Little birdies singing in the Juniper bushes out front, trickling water from the zen garden in the side yard, and the fresh flowers delivered in time for Turkey Day on my desk. Another beautiful day in the US military!

“Major Hasan?” asked the researcher.

“Please, call me Nidal, it’s so much more friendly”, he answered.

“Button your lip, Major! This is war, not a social networking date!”

“Yes sir, sorry sir!”

“Lie down on the uncomfortable bunk provided and answer these questions”.

“OK- how long is this going to take? I promised old lady huggins I’d take her to the PX to shop for stationary. She just loves to write to her grandchil-…”

“Major!! Atten, Atten- HUT!! Put a cork in it Major Hasan or I’ll have the Sargeant of Arms here put his boot so far up your ass you’ll be shitting baby shoes for a month is that clear Major?!”

“Sir yes sir- but, do you mind if I use the rest room first?”

“Dicipline Major, dicipline”!

“Yes sir!”

“Now- when I say a word, I want you to sing out with the first thing that comes to mind, do you understand that, Major Hasan?”

“Yes I do sir, and please, call me Naddie, everyone on base does.”

“Sargeant, kick this maggot in the face three times please!”.


“That’s better. Now do you have anything else to say, ‘naddie’?”

“….unnnh, sir, I do not”.

“Very well. That will be all now Sargeant, just wait outside the door please.”

“OK Major- the first word is ‘sniper’. Major, why are you smiling at the word sniper?”

“Well sir, sniper makes me think of window, and window reminded me that I forgot to fill the Hummingbird feeder. Thinking of those little hummers just puts a smile on my…”

“Silence! You little non-marching petty pansy! Get yer shit togetherrrrr!”

“Sorry sir.”

“The next word is ‘skin graft’. Major, why are you smiling at the phrase ‘skin graft’?”

“Well sir… being from Washington, I’m a huge fan of the Redskins, and I’ll be durned if it doesn’t remind me of just who the skins will draft in the first round picks this year! That Bobby whats his name from the University of-”


“Yes sir”.


“Shock and Awe, sir”.

“Patriot Act?”

“Umm…Hitler’s Enabling Act? King Georges ‘Writ of Assistance?”

“World Trade Center?”

“Riechstag Fire!”

“Good good- Rifle?”


“Excellent! Howitzer?”


“Nice! Bullets?”


“Perfect! Now you’re getting there, soldier. Napalm?”

“Burning flesh!”

“Great! Gangrene?”

“Childhood puss-leg!”



Easter Bonnet?”


Sunday school?”

“Terror cell!”



“Goats milk?”

“Kill mother!”


“Kill father!”

“Jello pudding?”

“Kill babies!”

“Swine flu?”

“Quarantine trouble makers!”

“Holy bible?”

“Burn Mosques!”


“Machine gun!”


“Major, what are you doing with that machine gun?”


“Put that down right now! Wha- where What are you doing with all those bullets?”

“Brat-ta-tat-a-tat-a-tat!!!”   “Bing pop pow boierrrr-pop pop pow BLAM!!”

Boom boom boom pop pop tatta tatta tatta POP POW BOOM!!!

Next day’s headlines- 12 dead, no one knows why- nice man- no sign of trouble- loved humming birds-

Well thanks for joining us here on ESM, stay tuned next time for, “Passing the Torture Torch…”


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Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

 Not Sea

EarthSourceMedia Reports for November 3rd, 2009


And you thought the Edmond Fitzgerald had problems? The USS New York, a brand-spanking-new ‘amphibious transport dock’ ship cruised maliciously into New York Harbor Monday morning loaded with 7.5 tons of World Trade Center steel! The first thing that comes to mind is, “That’s heavy!”, but then, this is what you can call a ‘close encounter of the 9-11 kind’, the kind designed to erase your mind, to coin a phrase.

While it’s true the Edmond Fitzgerald carried a load of iron ore and this tub of shit is carrying only 14,000 lbs of cordite-melted steel from the biggest inside job ever pulled, the situation here is far more dangerous. This warship is a symbol, a symbol of hate, of American imperialism, of the supremecy of fossil fuel as the continued weapon of choice for mass destruction, and the all-out OK to keep sending kids to die over a big fat lie.

But we do educate those kids who fight and die for Cheney-pie; we sit them in front of violent video games for the first 12 years of their life, breed them into mindless, remorseless, heartless thoughtless killers, and it works, until they discover girls at about 13.

Then, after stewing in their own hormones for the next few years, at 17, they discover that they can become heroes and get laid real easy if they join the US military! Of course, this may entail losing your legs, eyes and killing a few so-called ‘Sand Niggers’, but- hey! The babes! The uniform! The babes!

Incoming!! Oops, off goes your nose and toes, but shit, if I can just hang on ’till furlough, that betty jones keeps sending me the hottest perfumed letters, practically begging for the ol’ ba-da-bing! Some things just never change. So, what can we do about it? Well, the first thing would be to make all junior high students watch the movie, ‘Johnny Got His Gun’. Remember that one? Dude came home from some fucking war with no arms, legs or face, but still alive. Couldn’t even tell anyone who he really was, and the whole movie is him dreaming about the little things, the sun, his sweet heart, oh yeah, and the nurse finally gives him a blow job. Poor guy, in the end she communicates via morse code and he keeps asking her to kill him. She finally tries, but is thwarted and fired. D-E-P-R-E-S-S-I-N-G!

I remember going home after seeing it, and laying in my room listening to ‘Just an Old fashioned Love Song’ by Three Dog Night. Hell, I still enlisted a year or two later! And boy was I sorry, when I went to the fleet and found out what a silly, pointless Micky Mouse operation it all was. But for me, Viet Nam was just ending, and I didn’t see combat. I sure as shit wouldn’t want to be a young guy today, about to be sold down the river by the good folks of the USA! A bloodthirsty lot.

Look bro, if you want to join anyway, do me one favor before you go- just get someone who supports the troops to promise that if you come back without use of your extremities, they’ll stay with you for the rest of your life to turn you over every two hours so you won’t get nasty bed sores. That’s what I call supporting the troops!

Then again, some folks are more like me- I tend to support kids and then young men, but the minute you sign up as a tool and a fool, as soon as you surrender your mind and consent to be blind, as soon as you swear off fun that doesn’t include a gun- I ain’t supportin’ shit! Put on the uniform the rich white man dresses you up in and we’re ka-putz bro. No crew cut Nazi fireman jerkoff friends for me, no my brother.

Why? Because I know dam well its gonna be you who pulls up in a troop carrier on my nieghborhood corner one day to set up the road blocks, thats why. Because you and your gun and your training and red white and blue brainwashing are all designed to enforce the rules of the extraction industry. And no thanks, I’m really not in the mood for your vaccine right now, thanks anyway though. What’s that? If I don’t accept the vaccine I have to get on that bus to the detention center in Arizona? Second ammendment, don’t fail us now!

As a native New Yorker, I’m appalled about the new ‘hate symbol ship’ being named the New York. Instead of World Trade Center steel, it should have been built from New Orleans Superdome steel!

As an environmentalist, I’m appalled the LA Times has a story on page 1 about birding in the East Sierras and another about war games in the East Sierras on page 6! That’s it really- the Earth or War.

And as a US Navy veteran, it makes me sick that you ask us to ‘never forget’ the violent events of war. Of course! If we forget, we might have peace and that wouldn’t work for you now would it?

You don’t have our best interests in mind. You don’t want us to be vigilant. You do want to enslave us.


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Monday, November 2nd, 2009


EarthSourceMedia Reports for November 2nd, 2009


Take me out to the ballgame

fake me out with the crowd

find me some pea brains completely whacked

wipe out their minds that they’ll never get back’


by joey racano

(‘Baseball Tonite’ music)

“Hi, everybody and welcome to the 2009 World Series, Phillies versus the New York Yankees, and here to throw out the first pitch is Marine Staff Sargeant Bilpowitz, who lost both arms in a firefight at a Fallouja checkpoint while wiping out a family of five. He’ll be aided by his wife sherry, who is set to deploy to Afghanistan right after tonights game, which is brought to you by ‘An-Gel’, the one toothpaste you can still take on a plane! As they say, ‘pick up some An-Gel and watch the Catholic girls go wild!”

(Sherry throws ball for hubby to loud applause)

“By the way, Sherry is looking for a baby sitter for the next 6 years, so if anyone…” (crowd roars)

“We’ll get to tonight’s pitching matchup in a moment, but first let’s welcome Vice Rear Admiral Kowalski from the Navy’s 7th Fleet, to sing our national anthem, accompanied by the 3rd Shock and Awe division military all-star band”.

(crowd quiets)

(Deep baritone…)…Ooooooh beau- teeee-full, forspacious skies….

(song ends, crowd cheers)

“Absolutely lovely rendition of our…huh? …Wha?….”

“Oh, oh yes, I just got word from the booth we aren’t allowed to say the word ‘rendition’ on Direct TV”…

“And now for the Yanks it’ll be Derek Jeter, batting leadoff…Huh? Wha?…”

“Well fer christ sakes, I didn’t SAY Maddoff, I said LEAD off, and…”

“Oh, anyway, let’s pause right here to allow your local stations to identify themselves.”

(“You’re watching the 2009 World Series on Alcatraz Prison Network, brought to you in conjunction with Homeland Security Industries, specializing in containment as well as entertainment, confinement and mind re-alignment, pharmaceutacles, cubicles, happy-pills and shooting skills. We now return you to our regularly scheduled program”).

“Welcome back to the 2009 World Series Fall classic, where Alex Rodriguez has just doubled in two runs and at the end of 4 innings of play it’s all tied up…Huh?  Wha..?   Um, I’ve just been informed that during the Dick Cheney torture trial we can’t talk about being tied up on Direct TV. Anyway, as we head to the fifth inning, let’s all rise for the singing of, “God Loves America a lot more than those different-colored peoples countries”, to be sung by the lovely and talented Betsy-Ross Farmsworth, Petty Officer third class and distand relative of Betsy Ross of the flag-sewing fame.”

(sings song of ultra nationalism and xenophobia to the cheering throngs of poorly educated white men…)

“Now it’ll be the cleanup hitter for the Phillies, who hits one deep off the Yankee reliever, deep, way back, back back back back back back back back…and it’s over the fence, and it now appears to have struck the large 100 foot cross held by the statue of Richard Nixon out in the center field bleachers, and may have injured the man with the rainbow hair and JOHN:316 sign! Folks, we’ll be back after this- what a shot!”

(Baseball Tonight’ music)

“All right, it’s a Phillie lead as we go into the 7th inning stretch, and will everyone please rise and put your hands over your ears as the B-1 P117 stealth fighter bomber napalm missile launching depth charge dropping nuclear fissionmaster machine gunning fuel air explosive nuetron laser radio-scoppic armor piercing infra red heat seeking terror tracking bunker busting peace love harmony bringer does a fly over of Qual-ca-traz stadium please? You might want to use the ear plugs provided by the nice folks from ‘Keep-it-WHITE- Phosphorous company, and we do thank them”.

(foreboding jets of armaggedden streak across the sky, sucking in geese and spitting them out as down, sprinkling feathers over the crowd, who roar their approval…)

“With the bases loaded here and two out, game 1 pitch away from ending, let’s welcome Corporal ‘point-an-shoot’ Carter, as he sings a song from his wildly successful ‘More than a refugee to me’ album, friends, here’s Corporal Carter singing, “Blessed are the Bombs, if they’re red white and blue'”.

(low buzz over the Qual-ca-traz stadium)…

“Oh dear lord, you know you know its true

that the good folks of the USA are exceptional to you

and it’ll always be the one true truth, so give ol’ America it’s due-

Blessed are the bombs

if they’re red white and blue!

We searched the worlds religions

we scoured every shore

we read the worlds religious books

we kicked down every door

we over saw elections

when we couldnt control our own

we couldnt save lives but we saved our money

bombing with a drone

We invaded, tortured, hung and killed

and ducked every well thrown shoe…

but blessed are the big bad bombs

if they’re red and white

spreading fright

plunging the world into night

making money when we fight..

Oh, Blessed are the Bombs

if they’re red, white and blue”

(stadium in stunned silence)


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