The Smog of War

The Smog of War

EarthSourceMedia reports for Halloween, 2009

The Smog of War

‘My my my, the BBC

bringing bullshit news from the world to me

 Just like FOX or a bucket of pee

the Joseph Goebells of today’s TV’
Good evening and welcome to BBC America, join us on FaceBook and follow us on twitter! Today’s report is terror- in the form of H1N1, A.K.A., the swine flu. Now, no matter what you do, please don’t panic. Remain calm! Reports coming from certain elements now tell us the Swine Flu has spread through 20 states and 5 countries, killing 19 people- nearly as many people as those who died in drive by shootings last weekend in Los Angeles!

Should you be afraid? Well, in a word, yes. 90% of fatalities from H1N1 will be people under the age of 65! Now let’s go to the phones and take your questions. ”

“Hello, you’re on the BBC. What’s on your mind this evening?”

“%^$#! Fuc@ You, you stupid #!@%! Fuc&#!@!”

‘*click*’

“You can’t please everybody, now can you?”

“Hello, you’re on the BBC!”

“Uh yeah, isn’t it true that 90% of fatalities from drive by shootings are people under 65 too? Why you makin’ such a big deal about pig flu den?”

“Ahem, I’m afraid shootings in LA have leveled off, while the H1N1 has positively skyrocketed to 19.”

“Oh.”

“Thank you for calling. BBC you’re on the air?”

“Fu#! bitch#! you stu$@#! Fuc#!@ Mother fuc!@#!”

*click*

“Now coming to us by remote feed it’s Hillary ‘Secretary’ Clinton, ‘ello Hillary, ‘ow are you?”

“Im just fine, thank you”…I’ve just arrived here in Pakistan where things are going quite well..

I’d like to express my condolences to the families of the DEA agents who died when the drug lords on our CIA payroll had them killed and…

B-L-A-M! KA-BOOOOM!

“Im sorry, Im going to have to go now, but..”

“Hillary, are you ok?”

:Right this way Secretary”

“Yes, Im fine, (sklish sklish sklish) but I have to leave the scene, many were killed by a suicide (sklish sklish) oh thats disgusting”

“Watch your step Madam secretary”

“Oh, the humanity!” (sklish slop sklish)

“And now back to our broadcast. The swine flu is expected to go after children, so be afraid. We suggest you keep your sons indoors until , until, at least until we send them to fight in Afghanistan, or wherever the drug trade takes us I dare say”. Now please welcome our guest Joey Racano, Editor of upstart net sensation, EarthSourceMedia. Welcome Joey!”

“Thanks for having me. Y’know, it’s got me a bit puzzled why you sit there in front of an incredibly polluted Los Angeles skyline and tell people how dangerous the flu is. It’s common knowledge that smog decreases the lung capacity of inner city children, so why aren’t you warning us about the dangers of climate change and fossil fuel burning? How ’bout the melting glaciers and drowning Polar Bears?”

“Ah, you’re the crafty one, eh? Well I’m sorry we’ve about run out of time today but why don’t you come back someday and we’ll discuss this further…like…say, the next third leapyear in june or septober?”

“Thanks for coming folks, and here’s a word from our sponsors Chevron, Exxon, Ron’s Radon and Rainy Day Uranium. Thank you, and goodnight!”

(theme kicks in, wild applause)

r-r-r-r-r-r-ing!  r-r-r-r-r-r-ing!

get that would you

no no let it ring its probably that ass- ole

r-r-r-r-ing!  “‘ello?”

“Fuck you you stupi#!@!”

*click*

our founder

our founder

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Tags: hillary clinton, pakistan, bbc, fox news, earth, source, media, blog, newscast, h1n1, swine flu, bird flu, pandemic, global warming, pollution, lung capacity, afghanistan, chevron, exxon, halloween, cia, druglords, heroin, poppies, opium, marijuana, obama, nobel peace prize

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