Windows of Opportunity starring Bill Gates


EarthSourceMedia Reports for February 5th, 2009


starring Bill Gates

 “Friends and family,  partners and colleagues, ladies and gentleman, we are all here today to embrace the future.

So, with an eye on social justice, environmental sustainability, the time has come, of course, to explore new opportunities to make some money. Welcome you all here to the 2009 TGP symposium, ‘WINDOWS of OPPORTUNITY’, which in this case TGP stands for ‘This Guys a Psycho’. Now, without further ado, it is my great and distinct pleasure to introduce the man in this land with a plan to put cash in your hand, ladies and gentleman, Bill Gates!”

 (loud applause)

*#!%@feedback screeching from microphone* 

“Thankyou, thankyou, yes, thanks, thanks, okthatsenuffthanx, everybody, thanx”.

“This is always one of my favorite events of the year, and this year is no exception. Except, this years convention is kind of exempt from being an exception because of the complexion of todays worlds perception of Americas reflection. A-hem. I thank you for inviting me to join you here today. Now, before I get to my speech, I’d like to invite you inside my own private world as I travel the globe with an eye on the miseries of the poor”.

S-s-s-s– THUPP!! -(opens a small medicine bottle full of mosquitos replete with hairy legs and striped probiscus)

“Having learned from Donald Rumsfelds bird-flu vaccine investments, where he spread a virus AFTER cornering the market on the worlds only bird-flu vaccine, and again learning from Dick Cheney and Alberto Gonzales, who invested in private Texas prisons after manipulating our laws and constitution in order to incarcerate more people, I came up with an investment strategy of my own…involving DDT and other too-long dormant miricles of medical science!!!

Because it is impossible to convey the sadness of third world children being attacked by malaria-carrying insects, I have decided to better illustrate their plight by releasing a few hundred mosquitos among you here for your perousal.”

z-z-z-zz-z–z-zz–z-z-z-z-z-z-z   b-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z    zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz   zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(gasps, the crowd staggers backward a few steps)

“Another thing that has caught my attention is the unexplored opportunity to capitalize on apian throat mites. Honey production is dropping everywhere, as is cotton-clothing production, and I, for one, am not about to let that one slip away, simply because you, my fellow entreprenuers aren’t ‘feeling’ me on this one. And so, I hold here in my hand a pail of Killer Bees, which I hope will work to make you all more aware of the plight of apiaries everywhere. Being a hardy breed, these little suckers would eliminate inventory loss from Brown Bear intrusion, and other breaches in product integrity. Let me just peel off the plastic cover- ”

(Screams, gasps, people head for exits)

B-u-z-z-z-z-z-   B-u-z-z-z-z-z-z-!!

…”no-no-no, don’t worry, there were little holes punched in the top, they can breathe, they can breathe,,,”

“Then there are the untold hidden and perhaps as-yet unpercieved advantages of new medicines -possibly manufactured in a space-laboratory- that could stop mamallian diseases in their tracks, before they even get a chance to become a threat! And so, in order to show you what I mean, I thought it might be easier to grasp if I allowed a few hundred rabid skunks to mingle among you- no- no- don’t be afraid, these aren’t yet in the ‘goonie’ stage, as it were, not yet, no- well, maybe that small group over there with the overactive salivary glands and –

(People running screaming, yelling, climbing on chairs)

“Remain calm, it’s only 9 shots and we have at least eight of those right on the premises, wait-!!  UNGH!! What’s that- smell- unhhh those over there went ‘off’ I must apologize for the odiferous consequences of my little demonstration..but look, see? Over there- the answer to any venom, a wheelbarrow full of Madagascar black=clawed scarlet-fanged scorpions, yes, just turn that barrow upside down and-…”

(Moaning, dying, screaming, cussing, sirens wail, police bang at doors)

…”and that’s it for tonight folks, this is Bill Gates, with ‘WINDOWS of OPPORTUNITY’ saying, goodnight and go with grace! 

Oh yes, and the Purple Recluse spiders, in the 55 gallon drums, let ‘er rip, that’s right, not gonna miss a chance to tap into that commodity, are we folks? Of course not! Not don’t be alarmed, they won’t- ah- ahhh-  ARGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Security! Security!


our founder

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Tags: bill gates, windows, microsoft, mosquitos, ddt, donald rumsfeld, alberto gonzales, dick cheney, private prisons, malaria, third world children, diseases,  killer bees, rabid skunks, technology entertainment design conference, long beach, california

One Response to “Windows of Opportunity starring Bill Gates”

  1. Completely agree with your comments on this – thanks for taking the time to post.

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