Welcome to Stupid Bowl XLIII


Earthsourcemedia Reports, February 2nd, 2009

Welcome to Stupid Bowl XLIII

Think you’re a jerk? Or ignorant? Maybe living in a fantasy world someone has made up for you? Well, if you were one of the millions of people in front of a television set yesterday shouting yourself hoarse over which smelly homo-simians in tights would bang craniums hardest against another, you may very well be. Except for the half-time show, of course. Bruce Springsteen fits in at the superbowl like jesus at Guantanamo.

It’s a known fact that football fans:

1 Are violent, warlike and stupid

2 Often cut in lines

3 Cut wet farts

4 Have small penises

5 Are uncomfortable with their homosexuality

Now, of course, the penis part doesn’t extend to the female fans. They are just mini- Sarah Palins with a touch of penis envy, who love football and hate men. But, by and large, these ladies are every bit as repulsive as their male counterparts. To put it into perspective, I like to think of how many Afghani children lost their eyes to US-made cluster bombs during the game. You know, the ball’s on the 45, Cardinals with a 3rd and long, and -“…Hey mom, look! I found what looks like an orange, and I am so hungry since the Zionists bombed the free-food clinic, and…”

“No son!! Don’t touch it, it may be a trick of the great satan-”


Yes, the monstrous nature of our culture of death culminates on that fateful sunday each year, when we pay special attention to how much ‘the troops’ enjoyed watching the game or professional wrestling. It’s a stretch calling it a culture at all. For instance, take one of this American Fascist movement’s spin-offs, the ‘MMA’. The other night, I rented a hideous movie called the ‘Scorpion king 2’, with Mixed Martial Arts former ‘great’ Randy Couture. The guy looked like he could snap an Iraqi kids neck like a twig, or take orders well, such as, “OK soldier, that’s Pat Tillman over there. If he were to die, it would rile up an entire nation of bloodthirsty savages- shoot him now!” But act? People, this bone head couldn’t act sick if he contracted the HU-47 strain bird flu. 

Anyway, both teams deserved to lose and, fortunately, one did. But the real loser is us. What an unbridled batch of ignorance. Maybe we’ll start representing something worthwhile by the 22nd century? Maybe we’ll even be around for the 22nd century? I dunno- but I love the commercials.

Joey Racano, editor


 joey racano

our founder

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Tag lines: superbowl 43, pat tillman, bird flu, cluster bombs, zionist, superbowl commercials, mma, randy couture, mixed martial arts, sarah palin, bruce springstein, jesus, guantanamo

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