‘That’s a Rap’

rapper

EarthSourceMedia reports for December 4th, 2008

‘That’s a Rap’

Those rascally conspirators- they really know how to run an airline, so to speak. You simply start an unnecessary war, kill about a million people -including 4200 American soldiers- blow up whole nations, steal the mineral rights, borrow trillions from China, give a hundred years worth of taxpayer monies to Wall Street, propagate a nonsensical world-wide ‘war on terror’, allowing for freedoms, liberties and individual rights to be withdrawn, then- presto!! Your term is up, and the hang-man is calling. But you have that all sorted out in advance, right? How to keep those nasty necks from the noose?  Here comes the biggest bucket of bullshit since Bush was a baby- or as Saddam Hussein would have put it, ‘the mother of all public relations campains! case in point…

‘Rice asks Pakistan to cooperate’, says the headline, referring to the rediculous ‘war on terror’ that is actually designed only to keep terrorist events continually happening. Americas predatory capitalist policies are the cause of  most terrorist activity (when we aren’t actually funding or training terror at places like the ‘School of the Americas’ in Georgia). The United Nations are well aware of this, and understandably appalled at what are so obviously war crimes activity perpetrated by the Bush administration for the past 8 years. The international community is indeed chomping at the bit to pursue charges against them, a-la the Nuremberg trials of the 1940’s. Cheney’s smart enough to know it- that’s why he spent so much time out of the public eye, detonating charges to blast a bat-cave into the side of some mountain, where he may well end up putting a gun in his mouth as the world closes in around him.

Hence, on their way out of power, the Bush cabal are trying to soften up public opinion against them by using the press to give the impression they are running around the world doing goodie-good things, like the story in yesterdays media outlets showing Bush getting dropped off on the Whitehouse lawn by a military helicopter. He was returning from a ‘mission’ pushing his disgusting program finding foster care adults for children imprisoned in his concentration camps. EarthSourceMedia finds this horrifying in the most vile way.

So it was that Condoleezza Rice accepted a bouquet of flowers from Indian opposition leader L.K. advani in New Delhi, India Wednesday, making sure the press beamed the image of Condi the war criminal smiling, wearing a lady-like pearl necklace, holding a floral arrangement that positively screams, ‘this nice woman with the flowers never warned anyone of an impending ‘mushroom cloud’ to start a hideous war, this sweet Earthly manifestation of Aphrodite couldn’t be an Artimus-in-disguise. No need for impeachment at home, or arrest, trial and public hanging abroad for war crimes and treason. This gal never actually flew around the globe spreading the true terror of shock and awe, 21st century blitzkrieg, endless shooting, bombing, depleted uranium poisoning, kangaroo courts and torture. No- that wasn’t this woman with the flowers. Now go to sleep. Nice. Nice. Easy. Nice and easy.

The same way the old farts always tell us to ‘never forget’, Pearl harbor, never forget’ the events of September 11th, 2001, I feel it important that we, likewise, ‘never forget’ the events of the Bush Administration and the Project for a New American Century. One way I do it is to say fun things at the supermarket to folks who are so obviously asleep. I was in line at the checkout counter a day or so ago, and was asked by a young brainwashed Nazi-in-training, “Sir, would you like to donate free coffee to our troops in Iraq?” to which I replied in the most embarrassing way, “Sorry, I donate all my money to the ‘Iraqi kids who became orphans at American checkpoints’ foundation.

Los Angeles, California:

A few weeks ago, a Swedish ‘rapper’ had an altercation at a Hollywood crosswalk, in which a man wound up dead. Now, these guys both being musicians, are kind of my brethren, so I don’t actually like to ‘dog’ another rapper- (hear my rhymes at: www.myspace.com/joeyracano).

But this is a case that must be aired- what would Miley Cyrus, Beyonce or Brittany Spears think? A local Jazz musician named John Osnos -who lived in cities all his life, never used a car, and was a stickler for pedestrian’s rights- was walking across a busy Hollywood street in a cross walk, when the driver of a waiting car grew impatient and revved up his engine and lurched forward to ‘hurry the guy up’. The driver happened to be rapper David Jassy from Sweden, and apparently was in a hurry. But Osnos made a fatal mistake by tapping on Jassy’s hood with a cane. Jassy got out of the car, punched Osnos in the face, and left the scene. And oh, those details- Jassy left the scene via a route that took him over Osnos, now wearing the tire-tracks of Jassy. Osnos died, and Jassy fled, but was later aprehended. His lawyer says he is ‘devastated’. What he probably means (because I understand rapper talk) is that ‘his client is ‘devastated’ that he has to “go through this sorry-ass bullshit just because he ran over some fat mother Fu%@!@ who was walking too slow and hit his dope-ass ride with a walkin’ stick until he had to take a detour over his ass.”

As a special artistic offering, EarthSourceMedia presents a custom-crafted ‘rap’ explaining the events of that unfortunate evening in terms not unfamiliar to Mr. Jassy:

~There I was, it was Saturday night- I was cruisin’ in my ride I was doin’ it right

when some role-ee -pole-ee dude with a wooden cane- was walking so slow that it drove me insane

I busted a move on my accelerator pedal- the engine climbed it was pedal-to-the-metal

He hit me with the cane on the hood of my ride- I really got mad, it was rappers pride

So i got out of the car and I punched him in the face

It was bound to leave a scar- so i picked up the pace

And I scooted from the scene I was sure it was grass

 But apparently the green was the dudes fat ass

Now Im sittin in a cell with a guy named ‘Fro’

I’m hopin’ that a jury’s gonna let me go

I promise not to run any mo’ folks down

Just as long as a brother doesn’t act like a clown”

-ESM 

  That’s the news for today- this is joey racano for EarthSourceMedia saying, “Goodnight and go with grace”.  -ESM

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Tags: condoleezza rice, dick cheney, war crimes, rap, nazis, china, miley cyrus, brittany spears, beyonce, nuremburg trials, bush

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