Archive for December, 2008

‘Up Your Ash (clean coal or dirty dems?)’

Monday, December 29th, 2008

new friends 

EarthSourceMedia Reports for December 28th, 2008

‘Up Your Ash (clean coal or dirty dems?)’

The EarthSourceMedia whirlwind tour is now in Vicksburg, Mississippi, our 11th state. On our way, we have seen some incredible commentary on the state of the nation, such as in the form of a giant confederate flag looming atop a 100′ flag pole on the I-75 Interstate Highway, just as you drive into Tampa, Florida. As in thousands upon thousands of dead deer, ‘possums, raccoons, coyotes, skunks, hawks, armadillos, badgers and other wildlife crushed on the roadways, and as in logging, mudslides and clear cuts in Alabama, Florida and Mississippi, many dogs left abandoned on the highwaysides throughout Alabama (I thought you guys loved dogs?), and other assorted ignorance various and sundry. The trip has had it’s high points, like when we saved a turtle off the freeway, and it’s low points, like when my neice handed me a calander of scantily-clad fireman (one being her husband) in leiu of a family dinner.

But wherever I roam, I never forget the journalist angle, and have been keeping a close eye on the goings-on, both globally and locally. In that spirit, I would like to make some comments and observations:

Laura Bush and Condi Rice are saying the Bush presidency has not been a failure. We here at EarthSourceMedia agree wholeheartedly, so long as he was trying to destroy America, kill a million people, ravage the worlds ecology and economy, and set the stage for ‘1984’.

   A relative of someone who died aboard ‘Flight 93′ (the ill-fated jet of “Let’s roll!” fame, that was hijacked and subsequently crashed in a field outside of Philladelphia) is asking Bush to take by force the land needed for a 2,000+ acre memorial from the owner. Now, wouldn’t that just be the greatest precedent to set, stealing private land to build a symbol for the American fascist movement? Then, Bush can use ’eminent domain’ to usurp 2 square feet from every lawn in America to build a flag pole, where an American flag -at least 10 feet X 20 feet- shall be displayed 365 days a year, ready to be moved to half-mast at a moments notice whenever anyone in the military, police, or fire department kills themselves after shooting their estranged wife and her new lover. -ESM

While flipping through the channels, I came upon an eery site, right out of ‘V’ is for Vendetta’: As a camera rolled showing World Wrestling Federation stars (obviously on hiatus from shooting steroids and then their loved ones) visiting our troops, in the background was the face of our fearless leader George W. Bush saying things like, “These are the real heroes”, and “For these past 8 years, we’ve worked together to free the world from terrorism” and other assorted ignorant war-mongering nonsensical double-talk, designed especially to brainwash the youth at home watching, in hopes some of them will go and enlist and head for Afghanistan. The only thing greater than my revulsion for that stupid talking head who will hopefully vanish into oblivion a month from now, was my astonishment at how sci-fi like these events are becoming in real life. I was waiting for a puff of smoke and for him to exclaim, “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!”  -ESM

And then, there are the Israelis, just-a-bomb, bomb, bombing away at Gaza even as we speak, killing more then several hundred people in the last two days alone, supposedly because they are ‘sick of the violence’. If these assholes are Gods chosen people, then God has not chosen wisely. -jr

Finally, how could I do a blog without mentioning the billion gallon spill of coal ash into the waterways of our heartland that has been largely kept out of the mainstream press because both the democrats and the republicans are kissing the butt of big coal? That’s a billion gallons, like a hundred Exxon Valdez spills!! Clean coal indeed!

Well, that’s our show for today- hope to be with you again on a daily basis as soon as this traveling calms down a bit. So, for EarthSourceMedia, this is joey racano saying, ‘goodnight and go with grace!’  -ESM

 our founder

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Tags: clean coal, exxon valdez, laura bush, condi rice, george bush, afghanistan, billion gallon coal spill, gaza bombing, israeli bombing, gods chosen people, american fascist movement, troops, heroes, flight 93 memorial,

‘Twas the Fight Before Christmas’

Wednesday, December 24th, 2008

patriot

Bald Eagle in Fort Myers, Fla. – Racano photo 

EarthSourceMedia Reports for Christmas Eve, December 24th, 2008

‘Twas the Fight Before Christmas’

by joey racano

Twas the fight before christmas, we were all in our beds,

not a blogger was stirring, after threats from the feds

After reading through the USA Today with care,

I wanted to curse them, but I didn’t dare!

They were after a blogger at the top of page 3,

and I couldn’t be sure if that blogger was me!

Throughout the whole article to my surprise,

Department of Homeland Security tries

to search through our blogs for terrorist ties,

while the rest of America eats pumpkin pies!

Now, what kind of christmas can we have at home,

when these fascist nazis won’t leave anyone alone?

Especially scary, is the fact that it’s they

who spread terror, and take hard-won freedoms away!

So do me a favor, as the holiday draws near-

Blog your ass off through Christmas -and have a happy new year!

joey racano

(Editor, EarthSourceMedia)

 joey racano

our founder

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Tags: homeland security, bald eagle, terrorist, christmas, twas the night before, holidays, freedom, pumpkin pie, nazi, fascism

EarthSourceMedia’s 2008 MAN of the YEAR

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

EarthSourceMedia Reports for December 16th, 2008

MAN of the YEAR 2008

As our readers know, we are currently on the road and writing intermittently through a blizzard of stormy ice. Thus far, EarthSourceMedia has covered 8 states gathering photos and facts and stories for future broadcast. However, (as was stolen from us by TIME MAGAZINE), we present to the public each year she or he who best exemplifies those qualities that may well yet save the Earth; courage, conviction, service in the name of that which is greater than ourselves. And we have named our model for the year ending in just a few days. His name is Muntather Al-Zaidi, a name that will be sung at campfires in the centuries to come (of course, we say campfires because mankind will be reduced to such small tribal gatherings in the not-too-distant future due to radiation, persistant poisons, logging, and warfare- see ya there, don't forget to bring flint and some stone implements).

Muntather Al-Zaidi is awarded the ESM MAN of the YEAR for excellence in journalism and bravery in the face of fascism. Unfortunately, he is already being tortured in an American-run concentration camp and will likely eventually be executed. But enough with the sad details- ladies and gentleman of the EarthSourceMedia family, we give you hope. We give you a bright and shining light. We give you a hero! We give you Muntather Al-Zaidi!

above and beyond!

Muntather Al-Zaidi

Now, as you watch the delightful video above over and over again, like the last pitch of a world series no hitter, it behooves you to listen to the blathering idiot American reporters who won't even give the real words this brave journalist said as he threw strike after strike, right down the middle. Due to the broad yellow stripe down the back of these do-nothing, know nothing, stand-for-nothing lady reporters, it falls upon EarthSourceMedia to give the actual words this heroic figure said...(ESM style, of course!)

From the press booth high in a 'skybox' above the baseball diamond:

*(Yes, it's a, a little glarey in here at gametime but it should- it, it should  be one for the record books, don't you think? Marv? Marv? MARV! Will you stop biting the lady for a moment and...

Oh, yes, sorry, sorry, -can you pass me that napkin? Yes, She-

Good christ get a hold of yourself man- NO NO! Thats not what I mean! ...oh whats the-

...and so here's the pitch as Muntather Al-Zaidi checks the runner, chews a bit-o tobacca, and winds, deals, delivers a -STRIKE!* right down the middle of that petty coward of a dictator who thinks God wanted him to steal the 2000 election and wait- let's go to the HERO-CAM for a listen to Muntather Al-Zaidi:

"Here is your farewell kiss, you kalb (dog)!"

And the secret service is stunned! Not a movement to aid their deranged leader and former cocaine addict George W. Bush, now known to have suppressed information that would have stopped the war in Iraq, spied on millions of Americans illegally, betrayed the identity of Valerie Plame, a US secret agent during time of war (firing squad?) and authorized torture and kidnapping of citizens of the world. No, these guys are too focused on letting Barack Obama get killed by white supremacists, as was reported in national news that Bush denied Obama's request to move his family into the safety of the white house guest house. No, the Bushies would like to let them be exposed to danger, thankyouverymuch.

And here's the second pitch, as he rears back to throw, and a high leg kick and back to the HERO-CAM an mic for a listen:

"And this one, dog, is for all the widows and dead children you son of a stinking ..."

Wow! Did you see that one Marv? A true hero in this day and age! And the reporters on MSNBC, what gutless fascist collaborators not to report the man's actual words but instead the press called this a 'security scare'. Yes, we at EarthSourceMedia call it a security scare alright- we're all scared because the security is getting so out of control we'll all have to get an iris scan to go to the corner market soon!

And as we are denied reporting on the Bush Cheney Rumsfeld Rice Ashcroft Gonzales crimes by a bought and paid for spineless media who would rather report on the impeachment of the Illinois governor (while Bush walks free!) and other lesser crimes that should be relegated to the end of a long list while we as Americans back up the international community and try our own leaders for the war crimes they continue to this day to commit.

Until that golden day when we drag our butts off the floor and get our great country back into the game, at least we can take heart in the heroic deeds of world citizens like Muntather Al-Zaidi. Want to do something for America? Demand the immediate release of Muntather Al-Zaidi!

Hoping your gameface if still the sameface... 

For EarthSourceMedia, this is joey racano saying, Goodnight and go with grace".  -ESM 

hero!

our founder

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Tags: muntather al-zaidi, msnbc, shoes thrown at bush, iraq, cheney, rumsfeld, secret service, valerie plame, rice, gonzales, bush,  

‘The Princess and the Pirates’

Wednesday, December 10th, 2008

pirate proof

EarthSourceMedia Reports for December 10th, 2008

‘The Princess and the Pirates’ 

Scene One:

(Ships horn bellows through misty salt air…womans voice crackles through megaphone…)

“Welcome aboard and thank you for choosing Princess of the carribean, world’s most trusted cruise lines. Please present your ticket to the gate attendent at the afterbrow, taking note of the section number in the upper left hand corner. Register all carry on luggage at the quarterdeck recieving window and proceed to the 0 1 level for passenger orientation. Passengers may sign up for extra-curricular on board duties in order to aquire ‘complementary cruise’ dream tickets, one to a volunteer, ten available per journey. Interested parties contact Petty Officer Third Class Madrigar.”

Scene Two:

(Handsome seafaring officer in white ‘Love Boat’ uniform looks up from walnut stateroom desk…)

“Petty Officer Madrigar, Extra Duty Division, how may I be of help to you today?”

“Oh hi, my name is Johnson, Dave Johnson, and I’m interested -curious about the extra duty available to passengers. How do I qualify?”

R-r-r-ing! “One moment Mr. Johnson- uh, X Duty HQ, Petty Officer Madrigar speaking, can I help you? No, I’m sorry, Mr. Halifax is no longer with us, he’s taken a job with Blackwater International in the intersection management division, thank you. No, no, nothing this trip, I’m interviewing a prospect right now, can I do anything else for you today? OK, thank you- goodbye.”

“Sorry about that, now let’s see, it says here you had no military experience?”

“No, but I was in the boy scouts.”

“Did you make eagle?”

“Uh, almost- mom pulled me out when the whole prayer thing hit the news- we’re athiests”.

“Any National Guard, Sea Scouts, anything like that?”

“Nope. Played a lot of army men as a kid though.”

“How ’bout your local police, ever done a ‘ride along’?”

“Uh-uh.”

“Ah, what the heck, we need ten, we got nine, congratulations on your free cruise, Mr. Johnson! See you on the sun deck at 0600 hours- wear white.”

“White, sir?”

“White. All white- our Pirate response contingency team members wear all white, for their own protection. We’ll explain it all tomorrow- see you then.”

 Scene Three:

(Warm cabin, rocking ever-so-slightly. Ploofy bed, satin sheets. Mr. and Mrs. Johnson smooch and cuddle…)

“Morning honey- coming for breakfast?”

“Can’t- got a meeting up on the sun deck.”

“Oh? Not with that swedish floozy in cabin 61, I hope!”

“Ha! No, can’t really talk about it, not ’till after Somalia. Go have an omelete- love you!”

“Love you too sugar. Be careful.”

Scene Four:

  (Next morning on the Sun Deck, 0600 hrs, ten tired passengers up too early, watching an animated Mr. Madrigar through bloodshot eyes…)

“Glad you all could make it- except you, Ms. Brighton- you are required to arrive of your own devices. Next time you will be disqualified.”

“Oh, Curt, stop it- you kept me out so late, and then after we…”

“Atten-hut! That’s enough of that. Mr. johnson, why are you in a cooking apron and a chefs hat, pray tell?”

“It’s the only thing I had in white.”

“Never mind- Ms. Brighten, please pass these out for our team members.”

All: “Oooh!”

“That’s right, all-white kevlar sailing jump suits with matching Sergio Techini windbreakers, a complete and stunning set for each of you to keep when the mission is over, compliments of Princess of the carribean-”

All (groaning): “Most trusted name in cruise lines.”

“Indeed! And that’ll be about enough, mind you all!”

“Mission sir?”

“That’s right Mr. Johnson. And now it’s time you all learned why you are here on the princess of the Carribean Pirate Contingency team.”

(Takes pointer stick to screen, looks up to porthole on next level…)

“Rivbarton, roll and cue, and…roll ’em! As you can see here, ours isn’t the only ship acosted by pirates in these dangerous straights off the coast- everyone is having the same trouble, Jim Chevron, Richie Texaco, The Exxon family, The Toyota Twins, even Ben and Jerry’s Ice cream group.”

“Ben and Jerr-”

“Silence! Note the photo of the pirate in the first boat, holding an RPG launcher- that’s no toy, team. And it’s up to you to stop them.”

say cheese!

“See, unbeknownst to air heads like the people on this cruise, there is great suffering out there in the world, mostly a result of, ahem, rich folks who sail around shopping at any and all ports of call with no sense of personal or environmental responsibility-”

R-r-r-r-ing!!

“Yes, Madrigar- oh, oh yes, it’s time to dump the trash overboard, well, get on with it then, and be sure the sewage tanks are purged, aim for the wildlife refuge, you know the one- yes, yes, where the Brown Pelicans nest. What’s that? White Pelicans? Well they’re brown now, aren’t they then! Now if you don’t mind, I’m busy protecting this operation- Madrigar out!” (click!)

“None of you ever having been military, it may take a minute or two to get the feel of these- Ms. brighton, if you will…”

(Pretty Ms. Brighten, the Swede from cabin 61, BTW, passes out an all-white AK-47 to each team member- all gasp, eyes wide…)

“Now, I’m sure you’ll get the hang of these easily enough when the time comes. This is the completion of your training, the ship is white, the uniforms white, even the machine guns are white- perfect cammoflouge- oh, and we’ll all be having this as well: compliments of ben and Jerry- vanilla of course. So here is the plan-

When our ship, the ‘Lady Decadence’, passes right through here-the ‘Straights of Destitution’, we can possibly expect piratic activity. Ms. brighton here will use her mega-horn phone to declare our unconditional surrender, and using her white bikini uniform, supplied of course by Princess of the Carribean, most-”

All: trusted name in cruiselines- blechh!”

“Ahem, yes- she will invite the pirates to dock alongside at specially designated ‘kill’ zones, where they will be informed all passengers have been stripped of watches chains and jewelry to save them time. That it has all been placed in a hat, to be passed right out to them -at over 10 knots!”

   cash

“At this time, all of you will be in your quarters watching the alarms we have designed specially to keep the passengers from becoming frightened. There are three lights in your cabins- green is ‘all clear’, yellow, is ‘someone has gotten sea sick’, and red means iminent danger of being boarded by Somali pirates! When you see the red light, consider it  a General quarters alarm, load your banana clips into the weapon, and take your places on the roof deck spaced 10 yards apart for the length of the ship. When ms. Brighton shows the money, lean forward and empty your weapons on them. Is that all clear? Very well then…. stand by”

“Sir, we just got a message from the fantail, pirates on the starboard, coming fast!”

“Alright then, team, lock and load! take ypour positions and wait for the hat!”

(Ms Brighton clutches at Mr. Madrigar…)

“Curt! Curt- I know you’ve got a girl in every port but- tell me, tell me you love me-”

“I love you!”

(a quick embrace is all they have and it’s action!)

Stay tuned next week for:

‘Seasick Forensic Pirate’

For earthsourceMedia, this is joey racano saying, Goodnight and go with grace!”

 joey

our founder

Ratta-tat-tat!  Ratta-tat-tat-tat!

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Tags: somali pirates cruise ship hijacking, chevron, texaco, ben and jerrys, toyota, blackwater

Pins and Needles

Tuesday, December 9th, 2008

Boneheads

EarthSourceMedia Reports for December 9th, 2008

Pins and Needles

For those who depend on EarthSourceMedia, we apologize for missing a few daily blogs, but there is good reason; EarthSourceMedia is on the road for a 2 month whirl-wind tour of these United States, currently reporting from Gallup, New Mexico. The ESM RV -or the ‘Skacciabong’ (skasha-bong) as it is known- is sited at KOA Campground in Navajo Nation, weather calling for below zero and 4″ of snow. Currently it is 60 mph gusts and snowing heavily. We’re headed for Florida via Red Bay, Alabama, but expect to be in San Diego for the January 21st meeting of the Regional Water Quality Control Board to warn them about the consequences of the EPA allowing the City of San Diego yet another 5-year waiver from section 301(h) of their own Clean Water Act. Complicating matters, the San Diego chapter of the formerly environmental group Surfrider Foundation apparently signed some retarded agreement with San Diego to never fight the waiver. Further complicating things is the fact that I and my California Ocean Outfall Group (the activist arm of EarthSourceMedia) have not, nor would we ever, sign any such agreement.  -ESM

On with the show-

Needles, California:

Many folks from Southern California talk constantly about their next trip to ‘the river’. By ‘the river’, they mean the Colorado River, she of the dwindling waters, lost to developments in 5 states, and polluted by PG &E with Hexavalent Chromium, or Chromium 6, as Erin Brockovich could tell you.  As a matter of fact, last year, an underground plume of the nasty stuff was observed by monitors to be passing the last checkpoint well before invading the river, which supplies drinking water to 5 million people in Los Angeles. No wonder Edward Abbey’s characters hated PG &E so much in his book ‘The Monkey Wrench Gang’.

Of course, to Southern Californians, ‘the river’ means nothing more than a place to drink Budweiser, drive their racing boat drunker than a sailor, and yell out things like, “Wooohhhhhhh- show your tits!” In this context, I managed to visit the area during the merciful ‘off season’, when only the tell-tale litter, chipped cement curbs and billion-plus beer bottles offered mute testimony to the kind of savage ignorance detailed in the last ESM blog. I set up the campsite for the evening and took the dogs for a walk. Needles is an interesting area. Situated on the California-Arizona border, the land is nothing but stones, rocks and boulders. No soil at all. The bushes, -few and far between- are of the heartiest breeds. With two dogs to a leash, and a leash in either hand, we trudged along toward the once-mighty Colorado to do our duty and sneak a peak at the agua. The first sign that something was amiss was the sound of jingling glass, such as that of the broken variety. I looked down in time to see my dogs shuffling through an inch of broken glass particles of every size, shape, color and kind!

“Over this way, whoa, whoa..”, I called to them. certainly didn’t need a bunch of difficult paw pad cuts. We zigged this way and zagged that, up a hill and down a slope, over a rise and down a gully, but to no avail- there was nary a square foot without shards of pointed broken glass- this, the lovely desert of Edward Abbeys beloved Arizona. I dreamed back to the rear cover of his immortal book, which said, “Oh my desert, yours is the only death I cannot bear”. The late afternoon sun shone low on the horizon, sparkles betraying a desert smothered in a sea of glass. A tale of a thousand coyotes licking their paws, a hundred thousand shards of pepsi, coke, and 7-up.

It wasn’t ’till we returned to the RV that it all dawned on me; I had seen the tell-tale signs- tire tracks over, across and through the most beautiful areas, the most sensitive of habitats. The final clue was when I saw the sign on the fence saying, RV park ends here- no trespassing’. On the other side of the wooden fence that carried the sign, the rocky floor was literally covered in broken glass, while none was in the park. Bad for tires, of course. And precisely that- bad for tires. Those motorized maniacs, three and four wheel weasels, internal combustion ball-busters, must have driven these old folks absolutely crazy. “Ahh, Betty, isn’t it beautiful? Just you and me and the quiet desert songbirds singing their-”

Browm! Browm! Broom-broom-Browm! Vroom-Vrowmmm!

“What in Sam Hill’s tarnation..? Hey you kids! Get outa there, can’t you see it’s Sunday and people are tryin’ ta-”

Breeeeen! breeeeeen! Broooowm-browmmm!

…So I walk into the ‘Wagon Wheel’ restaurant and order breakfast to go, and notice a shirt the old lady waitress is wearing. It says, : Welcome to Needles California, Known for Absolutely Nothing’. I say to her, “I know what it should be known for- broken glass! I have never, ever in my life seen more broken glass anytime, anyplace. But I think I know why.”

“Oh yeah, and why’s that?” she asked.

“Because of the Off-roaders. Everybody hates ’em so much, they’re willing to throw glass all over the place. It probably gives ’em flat tires!” Further strengthening my theory was the fact that the glass was of all kinds- broken coffee cups, glass window panes, bottle-bottoms, everything. People were tossing that stuff regularly in what appeared to be a concerted effort to make the place unrideable. And even the enviros (like this editor) knew that the Off-roaders will destroy everything over which they traverse, so what did it matter if you wreck some of it- anything’s better than squealing, peeling tires!

“Yes, that’s why they do it alright. But over at our place, they throw nails! Do you know how many tires my boys have gone through?” she admitted. Yikes, I thought. “Solid rubber”, said a man seated nearby- “Why ain’t them boys using solid rubber tires then?” He flashed me a quick smile. Well, for us here at EarthSourceMedia, I guess the moral of the story is, it’s a fairy tale when folks try to tell you that off-road ‘enthusiasts’ are the majority, that everyone loves to ride on the environment. No, they turn out to be a very hated minority- so despised that people who love the desert -and other people who just love peace and quiet- hate those dam things, those four-wheel widowmakers, those rough-riding spinal injury machines, those ‘make-sure to make short work of shore-birds’ life shorteners. To all of you off-roaders not yet in the emergency rooms of America- here’s a toast to you! *Crash- smash- tinckle*tinckle*tinckle*.

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 For EarthSourceMedia, I’m joey racano saying, “goodnight, and go with grace”  -ESM   

jr

our founder       

Tags: navajo nation, shore birds, off road vehicles, colorado river, emergency rooms, spinal injury, needles, california, motorized vehicles, shore bird habitat, edward abbey, arizona, koa campground, gallup new mexico, florida, red bay alabama, surfrider foundation, epa, clean water act, san diego, regional waterboard, ocean, outfall, environmental group

‘Ignoramica’

Saturday, December 6th, 2008

nutjob

EarthSourceMedia Reports for December 6th, 2008

‘Ignoramica’ 

Remember the commercials about Pro football player Bo Jackson, who played Major League Baseball and NFL Football at the same time? They went like this: “Bo knows baseball”.  “Bo knows football”. Sometimes, the commercials would feature rock great Bo Diddley, he of the wild guitars, who would say to Bo Jackson, “Bo, you don’t know diddley!”

Well that’s where I come in. I know ignorance. I know blazing, brazen, in-your-face ‘why are you even alive?’ ignorance. How did I get to be such an expert? Living it. I lived among the ignorant. Still do, actually. I used to live in Huntington Beach, California, where the Congressman still to this day says, “Global warming is a stupid idea!”. C’mon, that’s pretty ignorant. I can name a lot of reasons why global warming is real. At my favorite Thai food resaurant last week, a burly fellow and I struck up a conversation about our RV’s. Soon, the talk was of alternative fuels (I run mostly Biodiesel in a 360 HP Cummins diesel). Then the subject of automakers being bailed out led to the untimely demise of the  ZEV (Zero Emission vehicle) program and electric cars. The guy went off on a tirade about how they don’t work, and how he worked 10 years on the batteries, and a whole host of nonsense, which, in turn, led to him to saying global warming isn’t real, and if it is, man ‘has nothing to do with it’. Then, the fiesta resistance, he said he was from Fresno. Fresno! Let me put it as nicely as I can; if God were to butt-f*!k the Earth, his point of entry would be Fresno, California.  Ignorance. That conversation took a detour south from there.

I currently live in San Diego, where they swim, surf, shit and piss in the same body of water. Even the environmental groups there have signed agreements not to oppose the pollution! That’s really ignorant- especially if you’re a group known for your ‘surfriding‘ membership. More on that in an upcoming program. -ESM

As we work our way higher and higher on the ignorance food chain, let’s move on to that bastion of the ‘fair and balanced’, Fox News. I watched FOX ‘news’ tonight, and saw Karl Rove- who should be on trial for more heinous crimes against freedom, democracy, and America than I can count- but is instead acting as lead Fox News’ lead commentator. A-fuc#@ing mazing.  I watched the show in a restaurant on the Colorado River, called the ‘Wagon Wheel’, whose entire theme was about the glories of being a redneck- ignorance. I even broke down and bought a shirt there that says: ‘MESS WITH ME AND YOU MESS WITH THE WHOLE TRAILER PARK’. I looked at it tonite when I got home, and I’m not sure if I should wear it as a joke or burn it as a joke. I guess even I am not immune.

Fortunately, Code Pink foundress Medea Benjamin was a special guest (they’ll put anyone on FOX who’ll dog the dems you know) and she was quick to point out that Barack Obama has appointed an entire cabinet of ‘Hawks’. In other words, people who think it’s ok for people to be shooting and killing each other for bibles and flags, shits and giggles. Again, ignorance. My goodness. And that was just a quickie, because FOX was allocating the Lion’s share of its programming to the same thing it has for some 5 years ever since the slow-speed white-Bronco chase- OJ Simpson. 

FOX News: OJ Simpson was in court today for sentencing.

EarthSourceMedia News: Why is your lead commentator a traitor?

FOX news: OJ was sentenced to do a lot of time.

EarthSourceMedia: Wasn’t the Fox News reporter who broke the phony story during the 200 election a Bush first-cousin?

FOX News: OJ won’t be eligable for parole for 9 years.

EarthSourceMedia: Didn’t your lead commentator reveal the identity of a covert US secret agent during time of war? Why isn’t he blindfolded before a firing squad smoking his last cigarette? With Cheney, Novak and Libby?

(Back to ESM studios)

So, yes, I do consider myself somewhat of an expert on ignorance. I think the correct name for it is ignoro-scientificka, or some such. Stupido-tology. With a certain measure of retardo-bility. I know ignorance. I’ve studied it close-up every day since 9/11/01, and I’ve watched all the cottage industries that have sprung up around ‘terror’. From floaters (people whose religion tells them they’re going to float away to heaven), to ‘posters’ (people whose self-appointed duty is to post American flags on everything from cereal boxes to locomotives). Thank God for those ‘posters’, too. At times, I find myself walking aimlessley down the street, wondering to myself, “What- what-what country am I in again?”, when- shazaam!! There’s a 75′ X 55′ American flag flying over a local park, and I say, “Oh, that’s right- America!”. And what a relief it is not to have to carry all the different currencies I might have needed. After all, no one cares about the worthless American dollar, but I might get robbed if they think I have yen or euros.

You might wonder what this is all getting at. You might say, “Joey, what is this all about? Why do you write this blog telling everyone you ‘know ignorance’?”

To this, I might say, “Shut up!”.

Just kidding. 🙂 🙂 I would never say that. I would tell you, ‘I say this because today, I found the ultimate in ignorance. The pinnacle of pinheadedness. The diamond of duncia. The super-stupe. The Jah of jerks. The Yah-weh of wee-wee. The jesus of ‘jesus christ, is that ignorant’. Today, I found a story in the ‘Bakersfield Californian’, (where you would expect nothing less), that reported the unholy marriage between the two teams in the most ignorant of games that have the most ignorant fans, doing the most ignorant of things. Ladies and gents, EarthSourceMedia is sad to announce (or even to perpetuate the story) that The San Diego Chargers played the Oakland Raiders Thursday night in the worlds first live broadcast in 3-D. This late-breaking and hard hitting story, wrapped in the context of a plummitting economy, 2 wars and global environmental destruction, came through as a veritable beacon in the night of what is truly important, and even came with a photo sure to compete for the Pulitzer. A crazed football fanatic wearing a pair of 3-D glasses to make Elton John green with envy. This is not that photo.

kook

3-D Fan

Oakland Raiders fan: “Hey dude, WTF? Why does your team suck like a wind tunnel?”

San Diego Chargers fan: “The Bolts rule, bro, and a wind tunnel doesn’t suck man, it blows, like your Moth-”

Oakland Raiders fan: “Not even cool dude, how’d you like it if I came over there and..”

Vendor: “Peanuts! Beer!”

Oakland Raiders fan: “Beer! Beer! Over here dude!”

(Vendor flings Beer can like a girls softball pitcher, breaks last 2 teeth of Raiders fan)

San Diego Chargers fan: “Wow bro, that was so cool in these glasses!”

Oakland Raiders fan: “Lemme see those!”

San Diego Chargers fan: “No way bro, get yer own, I just paid for…”

Oakland Raiders fan: “Yeah? Then how ’bout if I (unh!) and I (hah!) and (oof!) and…”

San Diego Chargers fan: “You suck bro, like a wind tunnel!”

Oakland Raiders fan: “Your whole team sucks dude, how ’bout that?”

San Diego Chargers fan: I don’t bro, but how do you like (ugh!) this?”

“(Ugh!) (Ooh!) (Argh!) (Ehh!) (Agh!) (Oof!)….” 

Well, that’s all the time we (Ugh!) have tonite- so for EarthSourceMedia, this is (Ugh!) joey racano saying, (Oof!) goodnight and g- (Agh!) with (ungh!) grace (Ahh!)  -ESM

 joey

our founder

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‘That’s a Rap’

Thursday, December 4th, 2008

rapper

EarthSourceMedia reports for December 4th, 2008

‘That’s a Rap’

Those rascally conspirators- they really know how to run an airline, so to speak. You simply start an unnecessary war, kill about a million people -including 4200 American soldiers- blow up whole nations, steal the mineral rights, borrow trillions from China, give a hundred years worth of taxpayer monies to Wall Street, propagate a nonsensical world-wide ‘war on terror’, allowing for freedoms, liberties and individual rights to be withdrawn, then- presto!! Your term is up, and the hang-man is calling. But you have that all sorted out in advance, right? How to keep those nasty necks from the noose?  Here comes the biggest bucket of bullshit since Bush was a baby- or as Saddam Hussein would have put it, ‘the mother of all public relations campains! case in point…

‘Rice asks Pakistan to cooperate’, says the headline, referring to the rediculous ‘war on terror’ that is actually designed only to keep terrorist events continually happening. Americas predatory capitalist policies are the cause of  most terrorist activity (when we aren’t actually funding or training terror at places like the ‘School of the Americas’ in Georgia). The United Nations are well aware of this, and understandably appalled at what are so obviously war crimes activity perpetrated by the Bush administration for the past 8 years. The international community is indeed chomping at the bit to pursue charges against them, a-la the Nuremberg trials of the 1940’s. Cheney’s smart enough to know it- that’s why he spent so much time out of the public eye, detonating charges to blast a bat-cave into the side of some mountain, where he may well end up putting a gun in his mouth as the world closes in around him.

Hence, on their way out of power, the Bush cabal are trying to soften up public opinion against them by using the press to give the impression they are running around the world doing goodie-good things, like the story in yesterdays media outlets showing Bush getting dropped off on the Whitehouse lawn by a military helicopter. He was returning from a ‘mission’ pushing his disgusting program finding foster care adults for children imprisoned in his concentration camps. EarthSourceMedia finds this horrifying in the most vile way.

So it was that Condoleezza Rice accepted a bouquet of flowers from Indian opposition leader L.K. advani in New Delhi, India Wednesday, making sure the press beamed the image of Condi the war criminal smiling, wearing a lady-like pearl necklace, holding a floral arrangement that positively screams, ‘this nice woman with the flowers never warned anyone of an impending ‘mushroom cloud’ to start a hideous war, this sweet Earthly manifestation of Aphrodite couldn’t be an Artimus-in-disguise. No need for impeachment at home, or arrest, trial and public hanging abroad for war crimes and treason. This gal never actually flew around the globe spreading the true terror of shock and awe, 21st century blitzkrieg, endless shooting, bombing, depleted uranium poisoning, kangaroo courts and torture. No- that wasn’t this woman with the flowers. Now go to sleep. Nice. Nice. Easy. Nice and easy.

The same way the old farts always tell us to ‘never forget’, Pearl harbor, never forget’ the events of September 11th, 2001, I feel it important that we, likewise, ‘never forget’ the events of the Bush Administration and the Project for a New American Century. One way I do it is to say fun things at the supermarket to folks who are so obviously asleep. I was in line at the checkout counter a day or so ago, and was asked by a young brainwashed Nazi-in-training, “Sir, would you like to donate free coffee to our troops in Iraq?” to which I replied in the most embarrassing way, “Sorry, I donate all my money to the ‘Iraqi kids who became orphans at American checkpoints’ foundation.

Los Angeles, California:

A few weeks ago, a Swedish ‘rapper’ had an altercation at a Hollywood crosswalk, in which a man wound up dead. Now, these guys both being musicians, are kind of my brethren, so I don’t actually like to ‘dog’ another rapper- (hear my rhymes at: www.myspace.com/joeyracano).

But this is a case that must be aired- what would Miley Cyrus, Beyonce or Brittany Spears think? A local Jazz musician named John Osnos -who lived in cities all his life, never used a car, and was a stickler for pedestrian’s rights- was walking across a busy Hollywood street in a cross walk, when the driver of a waiting car grew impatient and revved up his engine and lurched forward to ‘hurry the guy up’. The driver happened to be rapper David Jassy from Sweden, and apparently was in a hurry. But Osnos made a fatal mistake by tapping on Jassy’s hood with a cane. Jassy got out of the car, punched Osnos in the face, and left the scene. And oh, those details- Jassy left the scene via a route that took him over Osnos, now wearing the tire-tracks of Jassy. Osnos died, and Jassy fled, but was later aprehended. His lawyer says he is ‘devastated’. What he probably means (because I understand rapper talk) is that ‘his client is ‘devastated’ that he has to “go through this sorry-ass bullshit just because he ran over some fat mother Fu%@!@ who was walking too slow and hit his dope-ass ride with a walkin’ stick until he had to take a detour over his ass.”

As a special artistic offering, EarthSourceMedia presents a custom-crafted ‘rap’ explaining the events of that unfortunate evening in terms not unfamiliar to Mr. Jassy:

~There I was, it was Saturday night- I was cruisin’ in my ride I was doin’ it right

when some role-ee -pole-ee dude with a wooden cane- was walking so slow that it drove me insane

I busted a move on my accelerator pedal- the engine climbed it was pedal-to-the-metal

He hit me with the cane on the hood of my ride- I really got mad, it was rappers pride

So i got out of the car and I punched him in the face

It was bound to leave a scar- so i picked up the pace

And I scooted from the scene I was sure it was grass

 But apparently the green was the dudes fat ass

Now Im sittin in a cell with a guy named ‘Fro’

I’m hopin’ that a jury’s gonna let me go

I promise not to run any mo’ folks down

Just as long as a brother doesn’t act like a clown”

-ESM 

  That’s the news for today- this is joey racano for EarthSourceMedia saying, “Goodnight and go with grace”.  -ESM

our founder 

our founder

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Sings with Wolves

Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008

Lobo

EarthSourceMedia Reports for December 3rd, 2008

-…sings with wolves, can you see that i am your friend? Can you see that i will always be your friend?

Who is ‘sings with wolves? that is what they are calling you now.-

‘Sings with Wolves’

It’s a strange world this editor lives in. Born in urban-most Brooklyn, New York, I grew up to be a vociferous environmentalist. I am at home in the elements and consider the creatures around me to be my family. I drive down the street with the roof open and pay some of my attention to birds above and some attention to traffic- not the best idea, I know. We at EarthSourceMedia are 100% mobile, but today our RV sits in an RV park with limited internet access. As a result, I and my 4 dogs are utilizing a local coffee shop in Morro Bay as our office for today, chugging java and tapping out jibberish on the keys. But every 20 minutes or so, a fire engine, ambulance, or both roars by, sirens wailing, and my dogs- especially my ‘puppy’ Lobo- an 8 month old 100 lb black German Shepherd, point their snouts to the sky and let ‘er rip; “A—W-o-o-o-o-o-o!” So, Lobo’s eyes lock with mine, and I stop what I’m doing, run outside and join them in a pack howl.

Instantly, we are transported back 40,000 years, nostrils flare, eyes glow red, flanks touch, fur on fur on skin on fur; Lobo takes the bass, Trinka, soprano, I, baritone, and the old man Champion barks with reckles abandon and a semi-toothed smile to warm a canine heart. Dog lovers understand perfectly, the rest- sure, we’re crazy.

“A-Wo-o-o-o-o-o!” 

On with the show-

Beijing, China:

Beijing announced Monday it has already met its target for the year of 256 ‘blue sky’ days, due to environmental measures taken to reduce air pollution. EarthSourceMedia would like to point out that with 365 days in a year, they have also met their target of 109 ‘brown sky’ days.

London:

Anti-terror police raided the offices of and arrested lawmaker Damien Green, releasing him uncharged 9 hours later. This is similar to what happened to a United States Congressman last year. Not only does such behavior undermine the independence of congress, it violates separation of powers, and brings into focus a world-wide gestapo on a terrorism witch hunt targeting only those who don’t goose-step along with destruction of the Earth and profit-at-any-cost.  

Chicago:

In the most extensive study of its kind, researchers report that 1 in 5 young American adults has a personality disorder that interferes with everyday life. Counting substance abuse, the numbers rise to 1 out of 2. These disorders include obsessive or compulsive tendencies, and anti-social behavior that can lead to violence. But there is a bright side; while researchers call these young people troubled, recruiters call them the few, the proud, the marines.

Uh-oh- …think I hear a siren- excuse me for a….

“A-Wo-o-o-o-o-o-o!”

Short Takes-

Hawaii:

Scientists have unveiled a new telescope on the big island that will be able to detect objects 2 to 17 miles in diameter, making it capable of observing the national debt.

Tulare County, California:

A 15 year old boy was arrested for trying to swat his mother with an axe. The woman was not injured, and said the incident went something like this: “Mom, I want to axe you something”.

Mom replied, the word is ask- ask, ask, ask!”

Sonny left the mini mart, but soon returned with a hatchet saying, “No mom, the word is axe. Axe axe axe!”

Ooh, here we go again-

“A-Wo-o-o-o-o-o!  A- A- Aw-w-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!”

Naples, Florida:

A Florida teen stole a pair of earings from JC Penney by swallowing them. EarthSourceMedia is glad the kid wasn’t a car thief.

Rockland, Massachusetts:

Taking sports insanity to a new low, a company called, ‘Eternal Image of Michigan’ is offering a new line of Boston Red Sox caskets. The company is licensed by major league Baseball and caters to people who we here at EarthSourceMedia think are probably better off dead anyway, so let them enjoy that seventh inning stretch’. May it stretch into eternity! We also don’t know what it is about the darn Red Sox. You will remember that when the CIA was kidnapping people from airports and flying them to countries like Romania to be tortured, they were using a Boston Red Sox jet, albeit with the official Red Sox logo covered up for discretion. -ESM

Sacramento, California:

Esteban Nunez was arrested in Sacramento yesterday on suspicion of stabbing a 22 year old man to death in San Diego. No, he’s not the Esteban who plays guitar and dresses like ‘Zoro’. But he is the son of former Assembly Speaker Fabian Nunez, the oft corrupt politician who embodies Democratic Party shenanigans. We here at EarthSourceMedia will not convict him without a trial, but if he does turn out to be guilty, we will say, ‘the acorn doesn’t fall far from the tree’.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania:

State Governors from all over America converged on Congress Hall to meet with President Elect Barack Obama, who vowed to put hundreds of billions of dollars into Americas long-neglected infrastructure. Never missing a beat of the propaganda drum, the GOP was sure to take photos of Sarah Palin with Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger in the background and plastering them in every paper in the nation, hopeing some of his charisma would rub off on her. Here at EarthSourceMedia, we don’t agree with everything Arnold does, but his leadership qualities are undeniable. Hell, he may even be the antichrist, and that’s probably the highest compliment we can give. But Sarah Palin, she’s the devil himself. Ask any wolf.

Here they go again-

“Aw-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!”

From dark woods and grassy savanahs to a nice warm den out of the wicked winds of the last few days, I’m joey racano saying, “Goodnight and go with – go with- go-Awo-o-o-o-o!

 jr

our founder

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Chevron and On and On

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008

hell

EarthSourceMedia Reports for December 2nd, 2008

‘Chevron and On and On’

A sailor’s worst nightmare on the high seas is tugging and tugging on the anchor chain and finding out the anchor isn’t attached. Such is the case with our court system. The courts were once the anchor of our democracy, but they are no longer attached. We found this out when then-Chief Justice Rehnquist gave the order to halt the vote counting in Florida, ending the 2000 presidential election and effectively appointing George W. Bush President of the United States. The rest is history.

Well those courts are leaving their mark again in today’s news. Let’s start by heading into the jungles of the dark continent- got your safari hat and a mosquito net? let’s go!

In parts of Africa where U.S. oil companies exploit the peoples and their natural resources, one theme constantly plays out, over and over again; Oil companies get third-world country leaders to sign over all mineral rights to them, in exchange for, say, $100 million dollars being directed to an offshore account in Los Angeles, all in that particular third world leaders name. A personal account. They always say yes (except for Hugo Chavez, our ‘enemy’).

Soon, the oil is pumping north and west at breakneck pace, bobbing and floating (and  sometimes spilling) toward that land where the streets are paved with gold: ‘Amay-dick-a’- “Got-blase- Amay-dick-a”, as those now ultra-rich third world leaders fondly call their benefactor. And with all that new inspiration, the leaders are willing to turn their backs on the despoliation of their environment peoples, and sacred lands. One tribe actually made world news when they threatened to commit mass-suicide- an entire people willing to perish in protest! But this destruction and treachery is all for a good cause, we at EarthSourceMedia do realize. We need that oil so men with crew cuts and paint on their pants can drive their white pickup trucks with the Oakland Raiders stickers 90 miles an hour on rural roads running over skunks and ‘possums to get to the next jobsite on time.     

Meanwhile, back in the impoverished oil-laden nation, the poor sometimes puncture holes in the pipelines and use bowls to scoop up precious petro- not to use, but to sell for money to buy food and life necessities. But our oil companies are ready for them! They hire their fellow villagers to keep a close watch, stand by until just the right moment. When the puddle of fuel is an inch or so deep, and 60 or 70 of their fellow tribesman are stooping and scooping, they pull out their official box of Chevron-Texaco ‘nobody steals from us’ matches, and ‘WHOOSHH!* That place goes up like a thousand Joan-of-Arcs riding Mrs. O’leary’s cow through a tinder box!

And as they dance in their deaths like marionettes, we here at home can rest safely for the holidays, assured that our fuel that somehow had inexplicably found itself wedged beneath their soil, is on its way to us in time for that trip to grandmas. Of course, sometimes these villagers don’t steal or sell. They stage a demonstration. Something to get a message of injustice out to the world, such as, ‘Why aren’t we being hired, since you’re taking our resources, despoiling our sacred land? (Of course, this is a waste of time because the word  ‘sacred’ isn’t in the American vocabulary). Well, one such demonstration took place on a Chevron oil platform. Chevron heard the cry of these people. The oil giant understood their plight. They knew justice must be done. So they hired the banana republic’s local army, who went to the platform and shot all the protesters, some in the back as they ran away. So they took ’em to court. The people’s court!

San Francisco, California:

A federal jury in San Francisco found Chevron not guilty Monday of any wrong-doing in the shooting of Nigerian villagers who had occupied an offshore oil barge in 1998 to protest the companies environmental and hiring policies, today’s San Francisco Chronicle reported. Two were killed and two wounded by security forces summoned by Chevron. The villagers were unarmed. EarthSourceMedia doesn’t understand how Chevron could not be responsible for the actions of a security force that they had summoned.  Chevron says it will aggressively fight a similar case in Equador. Do big oil companies destroy lives and ecology with impunity all over the world? People do. -ESM

Washington:

‘Change-change-change, change the fools…’ (sung to the tune of ‘chain, chain, chain’)…

Here comes the change- I can feel it now. Here at EarthSourceMedia, we are so excited about the ‘change’ Barack’s new cabinet is bringing. Especially that James L. Jones Jr., the retired marine general. I mean, who would make a better National Security Advisor than Jimmy, who also happens to be a board-member of Chevron? Just like Condaleezza Rice was. That’s what I call change! Other reasons to be optimistic about this appointment is that the new National Security Advisor/Chevron Board-member leads a group that challenges global warming! I know we at ESM are supposed to keep our composure as journalists, but- is there no end to the madness? And if that weren’t bad enough, the guy shares a name with Jim Jones of Jonestown Kool-aid fame.  Shall we toast?

Brazil:

Brazil has announced it’s intention to reduce by half the amount of rainforest it cuts annually by the year 2018. In 2018, that amount will be reduced to ‘only’ 2,259 square miles. The goal is to help combat global warming. EarthSourceMedia is a big fan of well-executed ‘spin’, and this one’s a doozy. At 2,000 square miles a year ’till 2018 (which is 10 years off), Brazil is saying they are going to help combat global warming by cutting over 20,000 square miles of rainforest. Brilliant. -ESM 

Raymondville, Texas:

Yes, good ol’ Raymondville- legal hub of America, center of the litigation universe! Or, is Raymondville, texas one of those places where people with rotten teeth polish their Dick Cheney for class president ads in a school newspaper they saved from 1932? In any case, judge Manuel Banales ruled charges brought against Dick Cheney and Alberto Gonzales were invalid on a technicality. Two alternate jurors who had been part of the panel that day had not been properly seated.  The judge warned Willacy County District Attorney Juan Angel Guerra not to bring any more charges against Cheney or Gonzales and even warned him to go home and be careful.

The charges said Cheney and Gonzales were likely involved in a coverup to protect their investment in a private prison scam, by using their influence to stifle an investigation into prisoner abuse. When will America get the picture? The Bush cabal is above the law, and the way they got there was by stacking the judicial deck far in advance. EarthSourceMedia lends advice to Americans who think the worst is over- the Supreme and other courts -including appeals courts- have been sorely tainted and ‘you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. -ESM

From the soiled home of Nigerian fire dancers, to darkeners of skies and their black robes of injustice, I’m joey racano for EarthSourceMedia saying, “Goodnight and go with grace”.  -ESM

 me

our founder

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‘Underwhelmed’

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008

heat

EarthSourceMedia Reports for December 1st, 2008

‘Underwhelmed’ 

In an underwhelming announcement that has as much to do with ‘change’ as a dollar only store, President Elect Barack Obama announced his choices for cabinet-level positions in the new administration. One choice EarthSourceMedia agrees with is Hillary Clinton for Secretary of State. Hillary is like a white Condoleezza Rice who has never had an oil tanker named after her. What she does have though, are poise, experience and intelligence, making her an excellent choice for Secretary of State. But we disagree with keeping Robert Gates on, or anyone that would serve to remind us of the darkest days in American history. Even darker days seem poised to come; an ominous story in the Washington Post reports that the National Guard and Reserves will be joined together and deployed within the United States, numbering about 20,000 troops by 2011. Such a force constitutes the gravest of threats to Posse Comitatus, a 130 year old law forbidding military law enforcement in the streets of America. The spectre of such standing armies among the people bodes ill for a free future. The stated mission of this force is to respond to a nuclear attack or other domestic catastrophe, like, say, a citizen uprising trying to wrest control of our collective destiny from the hands of leaders who would deploy such a force in the first place. And such an uprising seems certain to come, as water, air and food become poisoned, conditions become impossibly crowded, family members get iris-scanned entering and leaving neighborhoods, and mail-carriers forcibly administer vaccines with armed sheriffs standing by. With the direction we’re headed, citizens may soon find those young, sweet-faced ‘heroes’ in camoflauge who have been serving so proudly, will soon be serving us- to big brother on a silver platter.

Rounding out Obama’s choices are Retired Marine General James Jones as National Security Advisor, Eric Holder as Attorney General, Janet Napolitano as Secretary of Homeland Security (the new ‘Gestapo’), and Susan Rice as Ambassador to the United Nations (anyone’s better than John Bolton). All in all, things are looking pretty abysmal. It would be hard to imagine any meaningful, substantive change taking place under such an administration, especially in time to do anything about the real problems we face, such as climate change. Incidentally, today is opening day of climate negotiations.

Poland:

The United Nations Climate talks begin today with 10,600 delegates from 190 countries attending. I found the story, all 1 paragraph of it, in the USA Today buried on page 3 next to a photo of a black male with the heading: ‘Collier: Lineman shot 14 times’. No telling if George W. Bush will attend. In light of such tepid cabinet choices by Obama and the remote chance of real change, I think Captain Paul Watson of Sea Shepherd Conservation Society (www.seashepherd.org) said it best- “We are going to have to feel the full brunt of global warming”. Not a pretty picture. -ESM

Washington:

With the announcement today of Hillary Clinton as the new Secretary of State, husband and former President Bill Clinton felt compelled to create an aire of transparency, and has divulged all contributers to his Presidential Library. The identities of more than 200,000 individuals and groups have been disclosed, including an unnamed service provided by ‘The Monica Lewinsky Presidential Relief Fund’. 

Houston, Texas:

As was reported here at EarthSourceMedia, America winds up to have been smack-dab in the middle of the violence in mexico. It turns out that all the weapons are being bought in Houston. Said J. Dewey Webb, special agent in charge of the Houston division of the U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms and Explosives, “Our investigations show Houston is the top source for firearms going into Mexico”.

Modesto, California:

The Reverend Joseph Illo is pastor of Saint Joseph’s Catholic Church in Modesto, but may well think he’s actually Saint Joseph himself, after telling parishioners in a mass -and in a follow-up letter- that if they voted for Barack Obama, they should go to confession because of Obama’s pro-abortion stance. As one Joseph to another, I hope you’ll allow me to point out the absurdity of being anti-abortion and pro-war. Puzzling.

Washington:

Senator Arlen Spector has decided he will indeed run for reelection saying, “No matter who my opponent is, I’ll be ready”. His campaign took a major hit though, when geneologists uncovered a shocking revelation- his brother turns out to be Phil Spector, weirdo musicali suspected of shooting a woman after a night drinking at House of Blues in Los Angeles. They may end up running mates, or Phil might write Arlen a campaign theme song.

Mogadishu, Somalia:

A large amount of soon-to-be doctors and other professionals have defied the odds here in this war-torn country by graduating from medical and law school. Lately there has been a surge of Somali students graduating with degrees in seamanship, majoring in piracy.

And finally today at EarthSourceMedia, ‘SPECIAL OPERATIONS’ read the full-page ad in USA Today. Not your usual foundation, it continued. Yes, a full page appeal for money to go toward helping our men formerly in uniform who used to be those Seals, or Rangers, Green berets, Air Commandos and other ‘special ops’ personnel. And a worthy cause it is- the government they served for doesn’t care if they’re out starving in the street or sweating through bloody nightmares each night ’till dawn. These guys need help- and so does daddy’s little sweetheart every time she kisses him on the cheek and he wakes up with her in a jungle strangle-hold. Oh, 4th of July must be wonderful for these guys. Bam! Blap!

 “Emergency.”

“Yes- can you come right away? 220 spingord street- he’s got the cat, he’s up on the roof with an 11 inch knife at little morris’s throat again- HURRY!”

So, send that money fast, because special forces needs your help. These guys gave their all- especially their nervous systems- so help ’em now, because George W. Bush, the Pentagon and the Department of Defense sure won’t. Too busy sending the money to Wall Street.

Thanks for stopping by- I’m joey racano for EarthSourceMedia saying, “Goodnight and go witth- *GLURK* lemme go- I was only kidding sir- I know we all owe you a debt of gratitud*GLURK-GLURK* ahh- IcantBREATHE- GLURK* ugghh- go with grace- ahh- :”

 brash

our founder

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