‘Pardon Me’

payback

EarthSourceMedia Reports for November 25th, 2008

 ‘Pardon Me’

A wise man once advised against putting others down to make yourself look good. Here at EarthSourceMedia, we never put anyone down for that reason. We point out when people are doing things wrong. Like say, destroying the world PDQ (pretty darn quick). It is endlessley annoying when you point out problems with the Democratic Party, such as when Lois Wolk (D-Davis) caused the old growth in California not to get protection, and they respond, “Well would you rather have a Republican in there?”

One of the down sides of this stupid retort is that it makes good activists a little hesitant (very little) to critisize people like lame duck outgoing tyrant dictator scary evangelical President George W. Bush. Bush and cabal are in the process of doing incredible damage to the planet on the way out of office, attacking everything from forests to laws regulating toxins, and the list goes on and on. Meanwhile, Barack Obama has pretty much chosen to reappoint the entire cabinet of Bill Clinton. All the papers are screaming ‘Obama wastes no time on economy’! Obama himself is saying there’s no time to waste because the economy is so bad. He said yesterday that if something bold wasn’t done, many experts predict America will lose millions of jobs next year. But there is something else to be seen, if through a glass, darkly. It’s an environmental holocaust, unfolding in the most terrible way. And, unlike with an ailing economy, damage to it can’t just be ‘undone’ We are rushing headlong into oblivion and fast. So what about it, Barack? How ’bout moving with urgency on the environment? Or are you going to point at the Republicans and say, “Look what they’re doing- would you rather have McCAin?” EarthSourceMedia to Barack Obama: Ondalay, mi amigo, ondalay!

Swanzey, New Hampshire:

The third wife of deceased Baseball legend Ted Williams is holding an estate sale, selling all things Ted Williams. One of the most revolting is a mounted shoulder of a buffalo shot by Ted. I don’t know what it is with these baseball player types. Remember when Dave Winfield got arrested for killing a seagull by throwing a baseball at it? Well Ted, you were a great hitter, but what on Earth ever possesed you to shoot a buffalo? Did you at least eat the dam thing? Wear any part of it? Or did you just cut off it’s shoulder like a ghoulish baseball player? Oh, that’s right, you were a ghoulish baseball player. Now you’re dead. Maybe they saved your shoulder in cooperstown. What other items might go up for sale- a pair of Teds baseball cleats with roaches underneath that he squished in the clubhouse? His soiled home-fly swatter? -ESM

Wausau, Wisconsin:

Those poor deer up in Wisconsin- they have to deal with the superior intelligence of the great white hunter every year around this time. On the opening weekend of hunting season, five of those pencil-necked geeks shot each other. According to hunting officials, this is about the normal amount. At least one hunter was killed during a ’roundup’ technique, where one group of hunters walks toward another group of hunters, pushing the deer in front of them. This hunting method shows a kind of intelligence we haven’t seen here at EarthSourceMedia since, since when Ralph Cramden bought a boat with three propellers on ‘The Honeymooners’. Did I ever tell you about my ‘white cat’ theory? It’s where cats that are white don’t get run over as often as, say, black cats. So eventually, all cats will be white. So the theory goes, anyway. Another theory is that all people who like guns will wipe themselves out. Soldiers, hunters, collectors, target shooters, and assorted jerkoffs. So when these folks die, don’t get too upset, it’s natural selection. Sort of the white cat theory. BANG!  Oops- there goes another one. -ESM

Washington, DC:

George W. Bush is saying, ‘Howdy, pardoner’ to a batch of his contemporaries, as he gives presidential pardons to embezzlers, animal poisoners, and scumbags assorted and sundry on his way out of office. The first pardon he gave was to Leslie Owen Collier of Charleston, Missouri. Seems ol’ Lez was putting poison in hamburger meat to kill coyotes and wound up killing many different animals, including 3 Bald Eagles. Bush pardoned him, and a Presidential Pardon is final. I have no idea why that is. It’s like saying the President is above the law. Wrong!   

San Antonio, Texas:

Frederick Jessup, an elder of the Curch of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was arrested for performing a marriage between an old man and a young girl who could have been his granddaughter (and may indeed have been). EarthSourceMedia wonders why it is this church worked to take away gay people’s right to marry, but yet they are o.k. with pops marrying tots.

Venezuela:

That old American spin machine just seems to work overtime when it comes to Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. All the mainstream (mainstream, translation: neocon christian pro war anti abortion) American news organizations reported the election results of yesterday’s elections in Venezuela the same way- ‘Chavez Opponents Make Modest Gains’.  Here at EarthSourceMedia, we ‘Speak truth to youth!’, and so here it is: Chavez supporters won 17 of those elections and his opponents won only 5. A truer headline would have been: ‘Elections Show Chavez Has Strong Support’. And Russian war ships too! -ESM 

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia:

Somali-jack o’ the Day’

Those darn Somali Pirates are sure trying hard to get themselves cast in the new Pirates of the Carribean movie. Maybe they’ve got Oscar fever because of Sean Penn’s new movie. This time, they hijacked a Yemeni cargo ship in the Arabian sea. We here at EarthSourceMedia hope the pirates will follow the Japanese to Antarctica and hijack their whaling vessel! Pirates, if you’re reading this, just give it some thought.

Kibati, Congo:

The American Government is very different from other governments. Here’s a good example of why- Congo Government soldiers spent the day looting yesterday, preying on vulnerable refugees they should instead have been protecting. But before we here in America go calling the kettle black, just remember that we did the opposite yesterday. The American Government looted the soldiers, by narrowing the definition of what constitutes a combat-related injury. One soldier who lost his $16,000 disability payment said, “I was blown up twice in Iraq -that’s not combat related?”

Texas:

Jurors found a Muslim Charity called the Holy Land Foundation funneled money to a group called Hamas. According to the U.S., Hamas is a terrorist organization. Here at EarthSourceMedia, we respect the United States opinion on who is a terrorist- it’s like that movie, ‘It takes a thief’. Remember? Only a thief knows the mind of a thief. With the US lying to our own people to start an illegal war where we killed a million Iraqi civilians, kidnapped and tortured world citizens, imprisoned children in a concentration camp and then refused to help our own mentaly traumatized soldiers, hey, we’re experts on terrorism. The judge found the muslim charity and 5 of it’s former leaders guilty on all 108 counts. Here at EarthSourceMedia, we have a partial list of the 108 reasons they were found guilty:

1 They were muslim.  

2 They weren’t christians

3 olive skin color

4 non white

5 Don’t believe in Jesus

6 Their religion tried to steal the angel Gabriel

7 They were Muslim

8 Prayed too much to the wrong God

9 Never paid Gonzales or Cheney

10 See #1

EarthSourceMedia did record a brief outburst by the Texas judge: “Yo’ com inna mah coat-room heah boy? Wid awl dat muzlim sheeit? I senja da hale bowa! To hail!!!!!”

 joey racano

our founder

That’s the news for this 25th day of November, I’m joey racano for EarthSourceMedia saying, “From Toronto to Timbuktu, or anywhere the U.S. Government can track you using your own GPS, Goodnight and go with grace”  -ESM

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  Tags: lois wolk, republican, democrat, barack obama, muslim, christian, pardon, presidential pardon, hunters, timbuktu, toronto, gps, gonzales, cheney, the angel gabriel, iraqi civilians killed, terror, terrorism, somali pirates, hijack, yemeni ship, pirates of the carribean, oscar, sean penn movie, congo government looting, japanese whaling, malaysia,  hugo chavez, russian war ships

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