‘Special Krazy Episode’

koo-koo!

EarthSourceMedia Reports for November 24th, 2008

 ‘Special Krazy Episode’

It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day in the neighborhood; would you be my, could you..oh! Hey, yeah, umm…

Good Evening and welcome to EarthSourceMedia, where we ‘speak truth to youth!’ You know, the world’s gone pretty darn crazy, and it doesn’t show any signs of slowing down. We here at ESM have decided not to ‘go against the flow’, figuring the best thing to do is walk like an Egyption. Or do as the Romans do. When you’re in Rome, of course. Read this blog, and then you can judge wether or not we too, have gone the way of the Passenger Pigeon. The Do-Do Bird. The Koo-koo clock.

Here now, the news-

Los Angeles, California:

A man walked into the Scientology Building here in the city of angels, bringing with him two samauri swords. A nut walking into a building for nuts. With two swords. And the guy apparently used to be a member. So was Tom Cruise, and he soon started jumping up and down on Oprah Winfrey’s couch. The scientology guard took one look at this madman and started shooting. Local Police think it was probably justifiable homocide. Pretty nutty though. -ESM

Richmond, California:

Two people were driving on the Interstate 80 Freeway when they hit a Honda. They were hit themselves, by two other vehicles and then (koo koo!) decided it would be a great place to take a stroll -in the fast lane. They were struck and killed. CHP is searching for the passer-by driver who never stopped. If you have an accident folks, please, get the car and your self out of lanes. ASAP.

Baghdad:

Saddam Hussein’s cousin, known as ‘Chemical Ali’, because the American spin machine pretends he was known as Chemical Ali, is about to be executed for, umm, executing people. Now here is the logic- if someone does something, and you want to show them that doing it was wrong, -you do it too! (Koo-koo!) And by the way, America oversaw Saddam Hussein’s trial in kangaroo court fashion, stacked the deck, marked the cards, loaded the dice, get it? It wasn’t a fair trial. And then we made sure Saddam was executed by hanging. Ask any American and they’ll tell you- “We killed Hussein and overthrew Iraq because of 9-11.” But Hussein and Iraq had zero to do with the events of 9-11. Geaorge Bush was actually known as ‘Chemical ‘W’ back in college. He apparently did a lot of coke. Here at earthSourceMedia, we forgive him for that. We don’t forgive him for the Iraqi genocide.

Afghanistan:

The US bombed Islamabad, killing a british ‘militant’. The press said this strike was a sign of ‘sharper intelligence’. EarthSourceMedia says the strike is a sign of violent behavior.

Platteville, Colorado:

A nice farm couple invited needy people to come to their farm and pick their own vegetables on Saturday. As was the case in Montebello (reported here at ESM in yesterday’s blog), the reponse was a bit more than anticipated. 40,000 people picked that darn field clean, and the second day was canceled. Apparently, the field was also picked clean of crickets and beetles.

Atlanta, Georgia:

Kathy Cox, a school system employee, won 1 million dollars in September on a game show and gave it all to local schools. Last week, she and her husband found themselves filing for bankruptsy. EarthSourceMedia finds Mrs. Cox to be Koo-koo but nice.

Air Force One:

Condoleezza Rice and George W. bush will be meeting with North Korea in China soon to engage in peace talks. This being the special Krazy episode of EarthSourceMedia, we just had to include this story, because it is just so darn Krazy talking about peace with two of histories biggest war criminals.

Guantanamo, Cuba:

At the American concentration camp at Guantanamo, guards will soon offer classes on art and geology to prisoners who have been ‘too-long held’. We can see it now….(everything gets wavy)…

“Old man, sign zee papers!”

“I vill not sign zee papers, I am guilty of nothing, god is great!”

“Then tell me, what is the significance of Monet in modern impressionism?”

Washington:

‘No child left with mind’

Bush and Cheney have once again done their industrial friends bidding as they have gotten the Federal EPA to ease rules on lead, one of the worlds most dangerous pollutants. Children and animals exposed to lead lose their ability to learn and their mental processes are greatly slowed. However, the whitehouse does have a plan for recycling and education- the most heavily lead-exposed children will be sharpened into #2 pencils.

  And finally, my dogs all needed baths desperately today, hence this late posting of the ESM blog. Hope to get it done earlier tomorrow, but for now, this is joey racano for EarthSourceMedia saying, thanks for reading the special Krazy episode, and now, I gotta get outa here… I GOTTA get outa here….I gotta get OUTA here, I gotta get outta HERE, Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

“Come with us sir, we’ll take care of you”

“Hey- leave me alone! Leave- me- alone!”

“Everythings going to be fine, sir, here ya go”

“No!”

“Come on now”

 Goodnight and go with grace”.  -ESM

(koo-koo  koo-koo, koo-koo…………)

 joey racano

‘our founder’

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Tags: oprah winfrey, bush, cheney, epa, lead pollutants, whitehouse, monet, islamasbad, guantanamo, iraq, genocide, north korea, china, condaleezza rice, koo-koo, crazy

  

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