‘Not Our Fault’

shake & bake

EarthSourceMedia Reports for November 22nd, 2008

(special thanx to Dr. Alzheimer for photo: visit him at: http://photoblog.dralzheimer.stylesyndication.de/  )

‘Not Our Fault’

Montaneo De Oro, California:

‘Mountain of Gold’

Montaneo de Oro, is a beautiful spot on the secluded Central Coast of California. Trees, hills, native ecosystems, a rugged oceanfront, clouds that still sing the native songs. Here, the spirits of vanished estuarine peoples spend the days foraging for Abalone in cold waters, and the evenings haunting the dunes. And what else would we do with a spot so beautiful except build a Nuclear Power Plant? Ah, yes, a naughty nexis of nuclear narcissism. A place to plant a plethora of plutonium. This nuke plant uses a seawater intake -a cooling method so destructive they try to mitigate the damage to sea life by throwing junk in the nearby waters calling it a ‘reef’. Of course nothing could be more stupid except environmentalists who do ‘artificial reef’ mitigation. And then came the news this morning that the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Power Plant has a new friend just offshore- a major earthquake fault! Not to worry-P,G, & E, (Pacific Gas & Electric), those saviors of the sanctity of the sacred, have assured us everything is fine. Don’t panic. And my personal favorite, ‘Remain calm’. Though the fault is likely to someday generate a 6.5 magnitude quake, Lloyd Cluff, head of P,G,&E’s ‘risk management program’ said the plant is built to withstand a magnitude 7.5 temblor. It’s appalling that a private company would be allowed to operate a nuclear plant next to an earthquake fault, use a cooling system that kills billions of fish and larvae every day during the normal course of operation, and generate a plutonium waste product that will still be dangerous a half million years from now. Exactly what government agency will still be around in the year five hundred two thousand eight (502,008) to ensure the safety of that plutonium nuclear waste product? This country won’t even last another 100years.  Anyway, even without all that nuclear stuff, the plants cooling method is ghastly. A tube that sucks in everything and anything and kills nearly 100% of what it draws in. I once had a friend who showed me pictures on her computer she secretly took at work. ‘Work’, was a job she had with a regulatory compliance company, and her job was to sit at Diablo Canyon Nuclear Power Plant at a conveyer belt, counting, measuring and observing the dead sea life that was being sucked in by the plant’s ‘once-through-cooling’ seawater intake. The heaps of protoplasm were staggering. Talk about ‘by-catch’! She would get only a few creatures measured when the conveyor would bring in the next load. She was completely overwhelmed. That, folks, is the reality of where your electricity is coming from. Risk management indeed

Washington DC:

Sometimes, Karma comes as a person winning the lotto after returning a lost wallet. Sometimes its a guy who shoots himself cleaning his gun. But the very worst case of Karma we at ESM have ever seen is the Karma landing feet-first on the heads of the GOP. A fate so terrible, we actually feel a twinge of remorse for the vast right wing conspiracy. Hillary Clinton as the new Condoleezza Rice. OMFG. I’m not saying Condi was better than Hillary- no way. The one thing I remember most about Condi was when she was on the Board of Directors of Chevron. And they were going to name an oil supertanker after her! They actually did, but it was removed for the uproar it caused. Imagine, the U.S.S. Condoleezza Rice, estimated life span, 6 days ’till sea-jacking! And don’t forget Condi’s ‘mushroom cloud’ speech- she’s one of the Bush cabal war criminals to eventually be tried, found guilty of genocide, high crimes and treason, and hopefully, executed by firing squad- along with Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney, Alberto Gonzales and George W. Bush- but enough of my pleasant day dreams.

Hillary Clinton is going to come into office as the international face of Barack Obama, America and for all intents and purposes, you and I. I think she’s going to do a great job. I sure wouldn’t want to mess with that pitbull. And I felt so bad for her when she sat in front of all the media as Bill apologized to America for getting a blow job. Hell, I checked out Monica Lewinsky and, if there is a man in the country who would have turned her down, he is a weirdo. That must have been so embarrassing for Hillary, but she sat through it like a trooper with her head held high. And now, Karma. Secretary of State, one of the most powerful positions in history, especially now.  BTW- Monica, if you read ESM, call me– 805 540-8970 -jr

Decatur, Nebraska:

The ‘safe-haven’ law that caused so much confusion (and so many drop-offs!) has now been altered to say only infants may be dropped off. EarthSourceMedia worries about this new development. The temperature in Nebraska today is 36 degrees!

Beijing, China:

A 20 year old Chinese college student went to a Panda exhibit at Qixing Park with friends, and thought the Panda was so cute it would be ok to give it a hug. The Panda bit the mans leg and arm before the man was pulled from the exhibit. Authorities say the man was bloodied but had a ‘clear head’. EarthSourceMedia will not argue with Chinese authorities, as that may get us paraded around a stadium full of cheering onlookers and then taken out and shot (see: ‘operation strike hard’), but there is no way this person had a ‘clear head’.

Dayton, Ohio:

For all of us science fiction lovers, it looks like the day has arrived when we can expect to have robots checking up on us at work and at home. But forget the klatu-verrada-nikto stuff- these droids may be very small- bird-size by 2011, and insect-size by 2030. Our military is actually developing tiny machines disguised as insects to perform surveillance -coming soon to a bee hive near you. As is customary with military ‘intelligence’, we now run the risk of losing a million dollar piece of hardware to a 99 cent fly swatter.

Miami, Florida:

An unhappy young student in Florida yesterday took an overdose of drugs and killed himself as it was being broadcast live on his webcam. This despair and/or thrill seeking is sad and I pity the guy. But what irks me is the people who egged him on online. Do me a favor, if you’re ever watching me do something so stupid online and you want to egg me on to go through with it- send me your address along with your message so in case I survive I can come whup your heartless ass.

Davis, California:

The publisher of a local weekly paper is calling it quits after accomplishing his goal of writing, printing and delivering 52 issues; an issue a week for one year. One of the country’s youngest journalists, Finnegan O’Toole is only 8 years old, but has decided it’s time to move on. He’d like to create his own video game, and sell his art- a colorful collection of birds and space aliens he has drawn. He and neighbors delivered the final issue last Saturday, then had a cupcake party reception in the O’Tooles front yard. 

   From the outgoing Bush administration who think the new agreement with the Iraq government is a success, to the incoming Obama administration who wants to escalate the war in Iraq, which is now the war in Afghanistan, to the tens of thousands of Iraqi citizens demonstrating in the streets of Baghdad calling for us to immediately leave their country and die a thousand violent and painful deaths, I’m joey racano for EarthSourceMedia saying, “Goodnight and go with grace”.  -ESM

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Tags: baghdad, iraqi demonstration, montaneo de oro, mountain of gold, diablo canyon nuclear plant, once through cooling, condoleesa rice, hillary clinton, bill clinton, barack obama, afghanistan, online suicide, military intelligence, surveillance, chinese panda, plutonium, nuclear waste, secretary of state, gop, democrats, earthquake fault, dick cheney, donald rumsfeld, george w bush, alberto gonzales, risk management

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