‘Woolly Bully’

woolly bully

EarthSourceMedia Reports for November 20th, 2008

 ‘Woolly Bully’ 

Jonestown, Guyana:

Thirty years ago, a religious maniac named Jim Jones called upon his followers to commit ‘revolutionary suicide’ together at a jungle settlement for the weak minded. About 900 people were convinced to drink cyanide-laced kool-aid and those who refused were forced to do so at gunpoint or shot. Even a Congressman died there, as he bravely tried to help. Of course, I don’t agree with the ‘never forget’ people, who put this story on the front pages -once again. We have our own news. There is more going on right now than at any time in the past, and it is all very important- a world is at stake. Keep today’s news in the news! ‘Never forget’ means dwell on this. ‘Never forget’ Pearl Harbor. ‘Never forget’ 9-11.  God sakes, never forget! Because if we do forget, we might have peace, god forbid. Then what would all the old men with the ‘scrambled eggs’ on their ballcaps do with themselves as they sit at coffee shops at 5a.m. talking about the glories of past wars, and the evil of centrist democrats? In some ways, maybe we shouldn’t completely forget Jonestown. It can be extrapolated by the wise to reflect on the danger posed to us all by parochial America. Religion may on the surface seem benign, even homey. But Monsanto and General Electric seem ‘homey’ yet, look what destructive forces they are!  People who are religious are the way they are because they have a capacity to ‘believe’. They can accept as reality things they can’t see hear, taste touch or smell. People who want to rule the world (think ‘Dr. No’, ‘David Koresh) know this and take advantage of such believers. They tell them they’re going to save the unborn from abortion, they’re going to stop gay marriage. It will be on the ballot, just go vote! Oh, by the by, while you’re in that voting booth, do us one small favor- vote for George W. Bush because he feels the way you do about abortion. And that religious maniac vote (along with a little electioneering treachery) can swing the course of history. Bush did get in, he did change history, America drank his kool-aid.  Jonestown, R.I.P.   -ESM

Washington:

Obama is moving right along with his cabinet picks, some good, some not so good. A good choice is his new Secretary of Health and Human Services, Tom Daschle. Daschle is a known reformer with his heart in the right place. A bad choice was Janet Napolitano of Arizona to head the Department of Homeland Security. Napolitano was Governor in charge when I traveled to Arizona (see ‘Razing Arizona’ here). What I found there was out-of-control development, destruction and all done with water stolen from the wild. She’s been part of the problem. I don’t see her coming in and being the solution. At least her name is better than that of her predecesser Chertoff. It always sounded like someone was calling him jerkoff. Must have been hardon him back in school.

On a bright note, Representative Harry Waxman has wrestled the chairmanship of the House Energy and Commerce Committee from old-schooler Robert Dingell, who was, well- a dingle!

Mr. Dingell was closely aligned with the auto dinosaurs while Waxman has solid environmental and reform credentials. Although the papers are reporting Waxman to be a close ally of Nancy Pelosi, EarthSourceMedia doesn’t see it that way. He does his job and works with her when needed, but he is cut from a more progressive, altruistic mold. They do hail both from California, but that’s where the similarity ends. The vote was 137-122 for Waxman, showing just how bad the democrats still are. 122 votes for the status quo, glaciers be damned.

Sacramento:

The California State Supreme Court has agreed to hear the case of Proposition 8 next spring. EarthSourceMedia has already predicted Prop 8 would be struck down as unconstitutional, but it did serve some good; Prop 8 woke up the gay community and showed the public the intolerance of religious people.

Gulf of Aden:

Those gun-totin’ christi-billies, Blackwater, are taking advantage of the instability caused by Somali pirate-jackings and will become the private Navy for shipping companies moving their black gooey products through the area. One boat, the ‘McArthur’, is already deployed, loaded down for bear. You may remember Blackwater from their execution of civilians via machine gun at an Iraqi intersection last year. EarthSourceMedia has been unable to find out what country the gunboat will be kept in, but will let you know when the McArthur Parks.  

Woolly Bully:

Scentists are dabbling with the formerly impossible- cloning an extinct creature. A while back, it was found that sperm reach the egg, then die. After they are dead, the egg draws the sperm in and uses it for fertilization. This observation showed a dead sperm can fertilize an egg. Couple this discovery with global warming, which is exposing remains of the Woolly Mammoth, long frozen beneath icy permafrosted tundra. Now you have viable Mammoth sperm- what to do with it? Inseminate and elephant. Not just any elephant mind you- the Indian Elephant is genetically the closest living relative. Inseminate an Indian Elephant and a baby -if born- would be 50% Mammoth. Inseminate the hybrid and it’s baby would be 75% mammoth. Soon, the genetics would be near pure Mammoth, and a species lives again!

Scientists just recently approached near-completion of the Mammoth genome using tufts of hair from thawed corpses. This marks the first time the genome has been known for an extinct creature, drawing the whole Jurassic Park scenario closer to reality. Next question of course, is what to do with the furry little guy? EarthSourceMedia can’t say exactly where, but we can say ‘why’. The last mammoth died out 10,000 years ago and there are different theories how that happened. My favorite is the ‘black hole’ theory by a former curator of New York’s Museum of Natural History. He thinks they fell into the black hole known as the human mouth- we ate them! In any case, 10,000 years is the blink of an eye in Earth-terms. In other words, the environment has not changed significantly and so the grasslands glaciers and tundra still actually need the mammoth, to eat the grasses, fertilize the soil, and do whatever else it was they did as they evolved along with their environment. 

It is my opinion that as the world is built on and natural systems get paved out of existance, the kids of tomorrow will so depend on what’s left of the natural world for their survival, they will all have to know everything about little symbiotic relationships. Tree and squirrel, oak and woodpecker, clownfish and anemone, rhino and egret, homonid and canine and possibly even Mammoth and Tundra. Imagine roving bands of kids, skateboards tucked under their arms, calling out the latin names of plants and birds, and pulling out their water-test kits as they stoop to drink from polluted streams. Now imagine their faces lighting up, wide eyes aflame at the sight of a Woolly Mammoth drinking nearby!

From the not-so-frozen tundra, to the alleys of a modern-day Babylon, I’m joey racano for EarthSourceMedia saying, “Goodnight and go with grace”.  -ESM

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Tags: jim jones, jonestown, guyana, daschle, neapolitano, clone mammoth, pirates, blackwater, obama cabinet picks, head of homeland security, waxman, tundra, glaciers, skateboards, mcarthur, prop 8, pelosi, supreme court, chertoff, bush, religious maniac, babylon, somali pirates  

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