‘Wild Spirit’

wild spirit

EarthSourceMedia reports for November 19th, 2008

 ‘Wild Spirit’ 

‘As suns and moons pass by and by

the less is heard of hooves on high

Where once the rangelands roared with thunder

saguaros mark a west gone under

Was once a land of stallions breath

has gone the way of horned toads death’

                                          -joey racano

Africa:

Hijack hyjinx

Three more ships have been hijacked by Somali pirates- a cargo ship flying a Hong Kong flag, an Iranian cargo ship with a crew of 25, and a Thai vessel with a crew of 16. More than ten ships have been attacked this week, the most dramatic being a fully loaded Saudi oil supertanker hijacked 450 nautical miles off the African coast. In case you are unaware of the difference between a mile and a nautical mile, try running a mile in flippers, or riding a nautical mile on your bicycle. There is a difference. In a related story, the Indian Navy claims to have sunk the pirate ‘mother ship’ in the Gulf of Aden. No word how many mothers went down with the ship, if there was any buried treasure, or if Somali pirates were offered contracts for ‘Pirates of the Carribean IV- ‘Jack Sparrow’s Adventures, Large and Somalia’.

Sacramento, California:

In the 1960’s, 3,000 white fir trees were planted at the U.S. Forest Service genetics lab in Placerville so scientists could study seed growth. For the 10th year in a row, the lab will provide the State Capitol with it’s christmas tree, this year, a 60 foot tall specimen. Here at EarthSourceMedia, we ask the question noone else has dared to ask: Haven’t these poor trees suffered enough? The poor things have been lab rats for 50 years, and this is what they had to look forward to- some weird superstitious ritual where trees are sacrificed to ‘god’? Next time you people make a crucifix, take off the jesus and tack a tree up on the cross instead- preferably a cross not made of white fir! 

Merced County, California:

A student violated the cardinal rule of flying at Sierra Flight School at Castle Air Force Base- never walk into a moving propeller. EarthSourceMedia wonders how these people would ever handle wind power. The Chinese national was flying only with a second student, a violation of  FAA rules. His parents are being notified. 

Los Angeles:

An article in today’s LA Times notes that today is ‘World Toilet Day’. EarthSourceMedia finds the designation appropriate, since the world is going to shit. -ESM

Cape Canaveral, Florida:

First of all, I thought this place was changed to Cape Kennedy a long time ago? See- you get assasinated and this is the thanks you get. I guess a bullet in the head gets you only so far. Speaking of assasinations, the usually savvy San Francisco Chronicle yesterday ran a rehashed old story about ‘where were the reporters’ the last two San Francisco assasinations, and they ran the story right next to a photo of Obama- tasteless and tactless. And that’s a lot, coming from me.

Anyway, back to the Cape Canaveral story:

A lady astronaut lost her tool bag yesterday while out on a spacewalk. Totally understandable- we’ve all lost tools. I lose tools even when I’m under the car and that wrench can’t possibly be more than 3 feet away. She was using those tools to work on a ‘gummed up’ solar panel when they just kind of floated away. EarthSourceMedia thinks maybe she should have been working on her name instead- Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper. Say that three times fast. She got the job done by sharing another astronauts tools, but at one point in the 7-hour spacewalk, a screw floated by just too far out of reach for them. While no one knows what the screw was for, EarthSourceMedia feels it is safe to say the astronauts have a screw loose. -ESM

Reno, Nevada:

With time running out on a herd of wild horses, they were given a reprieve by Madeleine Pickens, wife of T-Boone Pickens. Life long animal lovers who spearheaded a successful movement to close the last US Horse slaughterhouse, the Pickenses have committed to the Bureau of Land Management to save not just the otherwise doomed wild horses, but possibly all the 30,000 horses and burros now in pens. Madeleine is seeking to buy open lands in the west, where the large herd can live. EarthSourceMedia presents the couple with an ESM ‘Golden Heart’. -ESM

From the dark waters off Africa, to the last open ranges of the American West, I’m joey racano for EarthSourceMedia saying, “Goodnight and go with grace”.  -ESM

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Tags: somalia pirates, hijacking, wild horses, t-boone pickens, africa, american west, astronauts, spacewalk, us forest service, christmas tree, solar panel, gulf of aden, saudi oil supertanker, thai, hong kong, cargo ship, heidemarie stefanyshyn-piper

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