‘Shhhh- They’re Coming!’

insensitive display

 EarthSourceMedia Reports for November 16th, 2008

 ‘Shhh- They’re Coming!’

Los Angeles, California:

Tucked inside the California section of today’s L.A. Times (Page 6) is a stunning photo of some 10,000 people outside L.A. City Hall, demonstrating their opposition to California’s Prop 8, which was backed by religious groups and will probably be found unconstitutional.  But just to show you how the ‘liberal press’ is tightly controlled by the right wingers who own it, on the front page is a photo of one lone single religious hypocritical maniac, pointing a finger and waving a biblical sign depicting the evils of gay marriage. Here at EarthSourceMedia, we’ve got a special remedy for such foam-at-the-mouth maniacs who want to dictate how others may live- stop christian marriage! That’s the way to deal with these bozos. I said the same thing last week at Long Beach Council chambers about developers building on an indian burial ground- just send the indians into a cemetary, have them set up their teepees, call the press and wait for the cops. When they ask what is going on, tell them you’re building a housing tract. 

Auburn, California:

In California’s water wars, it’s always been ‘use it or lose it’ for water rights, and the Auburn Dam, never having ‘used it’ is about to lose it. In a related story, Fish & Game officials found a giant Chinook Salmon (also known as ‘King’ Salmon), who was 51″ long and when alive may well have been more than the current world-record 88 pounds. The fish died of natural causes in the spawning cycle in Battle Creek, Red Bluff California. -ESM

Glendale, California:

Smoke wafted overhead, distant flames licked the sky, ashes smeared their powder everywhere, and ashen-faced people stood sullen-eyed on the verge of shock as the fires destructive toll mounted around them. Brush fires still crackled when the Americana at Brand Shopping Center decided to kick off their shopping season with a pyrotechnics display! In an area whose hotels were filled with fire-evacuees, neighbors poured out of their homes in a rage. “We weren’t trying to be insensitive”, said the centers spokeswoman Jennifer Gordon, explaining it was the christmas tree lighting ceremony and it couldn’t be rescheduled. And for us here at EarthSourceMedia, that opens up another can of worms- cutting down giant trees so you can hang dingle-balls on them for two weeks and throw them away. If you must decorate trees, why not light them ‘in place’, and when the season ends, simply remove the decorations and keep the forest alive? The chipmunks would certainly appreciate it. -ESM   

 Washington, DC:

An Associated Press story on the G20 ‘Econ’ Summit held yesterday in Washington DC carried the fruedian slip headline of the year. It read, ‘No Concrete Steps Taken’. In other words, the only way outa this mess is the way we came in- by slathering an 8″ layer of concrete over every square foot of this dying planet. The emergency event was attended by leaders of 21 nations and 4 international organisations. Hosting the event, lame duck President George W. Bush did more than just look stupid in photographs though- he also spoke in characteristic moronic fashion saying, “I wasn’t going to go for the $700 billion dollar bailout until they called me in and told me if I didn’t it would cause a depression bigger than the great depression.” This guy is about to do what few have ever been able to achieve; he’s going to make a huge segment of the worlds population very happy –by leaving.

La Mesa, California:

A Jiffy Lube employee was knocked to the ground and robbed of a bag containing $500 dollars last week, as she locked up for the night. Allow EarthSourceMedia to offer some comfort- it’s only money, nobody was hurt, and what with all the lubrication around, it could have been a much worse crime. -ESM

 Paris, france:

Lindsay Lohan showed physical beauty isn’t necessarily an indication of a beautiful person, when she arrived at the VIP Room Nightclub in gay pari’ wearing a fur. It is safe to assume the fur was torn from an animals body at some point earlier. Like the song goes, ‘It’s so easy, yay-yay- to hurt others when you can’t feel pain’. Lindsay, Lindsay, honey- say it ain’t so baby! You gonna do us like that when we’ve swooned over you since, be-jeepers, since I can’t even remember when? I’m disillusioned. But a hero did save the day. No sooner did the ‘Queen of Mean’ step onto the red carpet, than she was pelted by a ‘flour-bomb’ that powdered her nose but good. We here at EarthSourceMedia understand you’re under constant pressure, Lindsay, but never forget who you are girl. You, of all people, don’t need to wear anybody else’s skin.  

Halifax, Yorkshire England:

British etiquitte

A 91-year old woman was awakened around 4a.m. last October 9th by an intruder who scared her about half to death. The would-be robber fled without any loot, but left the poor woman in a fright. Not long afterward, she was again surprised, this time by a bouquet of flowers, along with a card apologizing for the break in, for frightening the woman, and explaining the would-be burglar had thought the house empty. West Yorkshire Police Detective Inspector Tony Nicholson has appealed for the burglar to come forward. EarthSourceMedia says no need- we know the cost of cut flowers today.

Denver, Colorado:

Remember not too long ago, when the democrats were doing things like signing on to the Bush administrations program of spying on Americans and sending more and more billions to the war machine that lied about everything and didn’t armor our troops? Remember the things they didn’t do, like impeach Bush and Cheney? Those were the times when good Americans were clamoring for real substantive change, such as that brought forth by Ohio Congressman Dennis Kucinich. The switchboards were lit, the emails were flying, the meetings were full- and the Democratic National Convention in Denver was demonstrated. But they were ready for us. Who is ‘they’? The corporations who own the democrats as well as the republicans. The paramilitaries (and military) who protect the status quo, the pathetic, dead end, American two-party system. They sent in choppers and swat teams, they wiped us off the streets, arrested and jailed us. You weren’t allowed to ask for more and better. You weren’t allowed to protest the corporate rule that brought down the economy, made war, destroyed the environment, and sapped social programs while providing corporate welfare for bankers.

Well, the results are in folks, and after the first round of trials of people arrested for protesting in Denver, there have been 106 arrests and only one conviction. These people weren’t arrested in Denver for being criminals. They were arrested for daring to speak out against the collusion between the democrats and the republicans, both owned by the same corporations. But now of course, it’s ‘Obama, Obama, change, Obama, Obama’. But go out to the forests. The trees are falling. Go out to the battlefield- the soldiers are dying. Look at the sky- the stacks are pouring pollution. We’ve a long way to go, so don’t let up now. And more arrests are forthcoming. Wait- shhh- they’re coming– have to go now-

 For EarthSourceMedia, this is joey racano saying shhh– ‘Goodnight, and go with grace!”  -ESM

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Tags: impeach bush, denver arrests, democratic national convention, lindsay lohan, obama, dennis kucinich, california fires, g20 econ summit, auburn dam, water wars, los angeles times, glendale pyrotechnics, prop 8, demonstrations, religious

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