‘Party Patrol’


EarthSourceMedia reports for November 12th, 2008

‘Party Patrol’

Lifetime judicial appointments are like money and fame. In the right hands, one can travel the world, stroking the nappy heads of claymore mine amputees. In the wrong hands, you might hang out at jet-set bars, drinking ’till your arrest makes the hollywood gossip section. Well, the Supreme Court picks of George W. Bush were made by the wrong hands. Case in point- a 5-4 decision has  just been handed down by the Bush court favoring more military insanity over ecology, giving the Navy the ok to blast whales to oblivion with SONAR.

The majority decision was written by Chief Justice John Roberts, a dangerously brilliant christian weirdo with dark, glassy speed-freak eyes. In his decision, he spewed the same old crap; protecting whales from SONAR could jeopardize the readiness of the Navy fleet. Sure. And speaking of ships, boy do we need a bunch of horrible gigantic gray metal hulks wallowing around leaking JP-4 fuel at the docks near our salt water wetlands! I like ’em better as artificial reefs.

This warped decision also serves to point up the dangers of having elected Barack Obama instead of say, a Ralph Nader. It was like hitting the ‘snooze’ button on our alarm clocks. We’re falling back asleep at our own great peril, and this koo-koo Supreme Court, packed with oil company agents like Anton Scalia and religious zealots like Roberts, Thomas and Alito- will be putting war and resource extraction ahead of our planet until the day they die.  -ESM       

Covington, Louisiana:

A woman recruited on the internet by white supremecists attended a KKK indoctrination ceremony and was murdered when she asked to leave. She was killed by the groups 44-year-old leader, Raymon ‘Chuck’ Foster, her body thrown beneath a bush. Robes, flags and weapons were found at the site. In an interview, St. Tammany Parish Sherriff Jack Strain said, “The IQ level of this group was not impressive, to be kind.” He also added, “I can’t imagine anyone feeling endangered or at risk by any one of these kooks.” EarthSourceMedia would suggest that the dead lady may have felt some risk- especially just before she was shot and killed. Perhaps Sheriff Strain is straining the truth as he covers up for his buddies.

Washington, DC:

Democrats are trying to get bailout money for General Motors, whose stocks have fallen to the lowest point since 1943 (largely due to the decision to crush and destroy their EV-1 electric cars). But lame-duck president George W. Bush wants to tie a free trade agreement with Columbia to any such aid. Even the LA Times agreed in an editorial today. The fact that the Bush administration/oil companies aren’t willing to help GM in its time of need is nothing more than karma. GM sold its soul to the devil when it sided with the oil companies in the early days of the Bush administration, cancelling its ZEV (zero emission vehicle) program and building a fleet of gas-guzzlers instead –as oil prices went through the roof. Now, the devil has hung GM out to dry. EarthSourceMedia sees any free trade agreement with Columbia as a smokescreen to cocaine trafficking anyway- and that traffic all points north.

Los Angeles:

An unexpected result of America turning into a police state are the cottage industries springing up, such as the growth of law enforcement agencies- there are many more police. And these police need recreation, like everone else. Well, perhaps not exactly like everyone else. Some municipalities, like San Diego and Los Angeles, are taking the step of banning outdoor consumption of alcohol, or banning deputies from carrying guns if they’ve been drinking. Seems there have been too many incidents of deputies being arrested for drunken driving, pulling guns, even shooting people. In LA County this year, there have been 61 alcohol-related arrests of deputies. One deputy was placed on leave when he shot a man in the leg at a New Years party. Another had 11 drinks celebrating his return from Iraq and shot his friend, killing him.

Their union is arguing that taking away a deputy’s gun puts him and his family at risk, asking, “What should a deputy do when he is with his family and runs into a violent offender he incarcerated?” As far as we here at EarthSourceMedia are concerned, that’s an easy one- just start shooting up everything in sight, walls, people, parolees, bystanders, chandeliers, everything! We’ve had a few too many, and it’s (hic!) all in good fun anyway, right? Ka-pow! Pa-keww! Blam! #@!* HEY YOU THERE, PULL OVER tee-hee-hee-hee!) Blam-blap-blam! Feel safer? Us too! 

    Well, (pa-kow!) that’s it for us today at (ker-plooie!) EarthSourceMedia, and I’m joey racano saying, (krak-ak-ak-ak-ak-ak-ak!) Goodnight and go with (ka-pewwwww!) grace!”   -ESM 

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Tags: judicial appointments, navy sonar, us supreme court, obama, police state, whales, columbia, free trade, bush, electric car, oil companies, law enforcement, military, kkk, ecology, chief justice john roberts, alito, thomas, anton scalia 

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