Palin in Comparison

Special to EarthSourceMedia

~Palin in Comparison~ by joey racano

I love horror movies, so it was with wide-eyed amusement that I caught the new Sarah Palin video, sent to me by someone with a sense of what is ironic. There she was, on stage last month at her church, microphone in hand, no brains in the head, and calling for the obviously rabid throngs of church goers to “pray for the natural gas pipeline” to come to Alaska.

All I could think of was a pack of wolves flying in one of those pontoon airplanes zooming over the not-so-frozen tundra, hunting down and shooting at a roving band of Pentecostals. What the hell is a Pentecost, anyway? Is that when the price of something goes up 5 times, like, ummm, gas? Or down 5 times, like your house just did?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m ok with speaking in tongues, but not when it’s being done by a person with their finger on the nuclear trigger of a stash of ICBM’s. And as for Sarah Palin’s ‘shooting’ of down Measure 2, which would have banned such aerial shooting ‘safari’s’ (as she calls it), I think I understand- she wants to be like the Archangel Michael, zooming down from on high and avenging…uhh…avenging…well, godammit, avenging those furry varmint/vectors for having the audacity to eat the same thing the humans eat!

Anyway, please be advised that Sarah Palin –or any psychotic who thinks the world is fake but heaven is real- should be kept from the Whitehouse at all costs. And that doesn’t mean I advocate Obama! He thinks the surge was a good thing. I guess he forgot the war was illegal in the first place. He also wants offshore drilling as a ‘stopgap’ measure. He must also have forgotten that the glaciers are melting faster than an ice cube in hot brandy on a Dick Cheney duck-hunting expedition.

No, I’m not going to allow the Democrats to blackmail me into voting for things I abhor just because McCain and Palin might get in if I vote for Nader again. That’s terrorism and I don’t negotiate with terrorists.

Meanwhile, I’ll be hoping for Sarah to start playing and praying with snakes- nothing too poisonous though, just, say, a Black Mamba or a King Cobra, ya know.

McCain and Obama are running neck and neck as I write, so it looks like Nader, McKinney and Ron Paul may have the power to dictate the outcome of this election. And once again, the Democrats seem to have learned nothing from 2000 and 2004. Word to the wise, Democrats: You can’t win without the left!

Maybe it’s time to ‘say no to dams’, or ‘go solar’ or end this genocidal aggression in Iraq and Afghanistan, or… ah, what’s the use. But I’ll tell you this much- the ‘left’ ain’t-a-votin’ for Obama and Crocodile-smile Joe Biden. Not even if Sarah is Palin in comparison!

jr

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